LGBT Issues: God Is Not Saying It, You Are

Sometimes when I see a conservative Christian arguing in a comment section or forum with one or more atheists or progressive Christians (whether that includes me as well--I'm not sure what I am, sometimes--or if I'm just watching), they will seem perfectly friendly and reasonable (if a little mistaken, in my opinion), until they whip out a variant of this line:
"Don't look at me; God said it, so take it up with Him."
I have been bullied with that line before. A person I was afraid of for many years used to say this line, whenever I disagreed with him. And, whether online or in real life, I mostly remember hearing it said with regard to one issue very dear to my heart: homosexuality.
My heart aches for people who are treated as if they are defective, suspiciously prone to sin, or second-class citizens in their own church or ministry (even if that wasn't the intention, because oppression is never "about" oppressing people). My heart aches for people who have to have their basic human rights be hugely controversial, for people who have to choose between three sub-par options: A lifetime of loneliness, marrying someone they do not find attractive and cannot love in a sexual way, or an eternity in hell.
The last few years I was a Christian, I heavily questioned the notion that God would ask some people to give up almost all love and happiness for Him, when they were supposed to be His children. Even when I believed God did do that, I was uneasy about it. I had a huge problem with this notion, and still do.
Then there were a few years when I didn't know what I was, but I definitely knew what I was not: I was not a Christian, I was not an evangelical, and I definitely was NOT anti-gay!
The thing that got me questioning this doctrine of intolerance and "sin" was hearing stories of people who tried repeatedly to change but could not, who hated themselves and prayed endlessly that God would change them, but He did not.
And then there were the extreme cases (though sadly, not particularly rare) of teens and even adults who took their own lives or attempted to, all because Christians could not tolerate "sin."
Jesus said that one would know somebody by their "fruits." I can't help but apply that to doctrine, too: If a doctrine is making many millions of people hate themselves, kill themselves, be cut off from their families (or have to cut their families off, because they are being hurt or rejected by them), then there is something very, very wrong with that doctrine. No matter how hard Christians try to lovingly apply it, it just isn't a very loving doctrine. It just doesn't seem to fit with the notion of all-loving God.
Do people really think that the hypocrites of Jesus's day (Pharisees and teachers of the law) never believed that God was behind them, too? Do people really believe that the Pharisees never used God in that way, never believed that they were doing the Lord's work (especially because they obeyed the Lord's commands, and those of scripture)?
Jesus spoke twice, and very critically too, of those who put heavy burdens on people, and didn't lift a finger to carry those burdens themselves. And the people who put those burdens on others, most assuredly thought that they were doing God's work. They thought that God was the one laying the burden on others, not them.
I remember, almost ten years ago, being on the receiving end of that phrase ("Don't look at me, God said it"), and wanting to scream. I was a Christian myself at the time, but couldn't agree with what a family member was saying. I don't remember the exact issue, though I think it had something to do with either LGBT people or wifely submission. (Note: Whenever I mention a family member, I do not mean either of my parents, who always have been willing to at least entertain possibilities of other viewpoints; in fact I have always had fun speculating with my mother, and she believes like I do.)
I still remember it to this day, and how he tried to use it as a trump card against me. I had never encountered such a phrase before, and was young and inexperienced in arguing effectively for my viewpoints. I think what bothered me most was that he had the nerve to speak for God.
I have had a long time to think about how I feel about the phrase, and so here is a message to those who would like to use it:

First of all, I am looking at you, and I will continue looking at you, because you are saying it too. Unless you want to disagree morally with God, you are in agreement with whatever doctrine you are espousing. So yes, you get to face the consequences of what you are saying, like an adult.

Second, either stand behind your words, or retract them. Don't hide behind God. I am not arguing with God, and I am not going to take up the argument with God (or rather, your version of God), since s/he is not in the habit of answering me back. You can either continue arguing your point, standing on your own two feet, or agree to disagree with me.

Third, you do not speak for God. You do not have a direct line to God. If I was God, I think I would be insulted that someone would try to speak for me (of course, I would want to speak directly to my creation, but that's a different issue). If you believe that God speaks directly or indirectly to us in any way, why couldn't he or she speak to me just as easily?

I have to go back to my beliefs about God (if God is real), whenever others try to be my high priest and stand between me and God. I spent so much of my life not trusting myself, and my own heart, especially about God, and I'm not making that mistake again. And I'm certainly not letting anyone else speak for God, to me. That's not allowed. That's the height of hypocrisy, and it's not allowed in my life.
I don't use this phrase on others. I'm not cowardly; I stand by what I say, even if I think God backs me up. And I expect those who wish to converse with me to do the same.