Ronny Brings Flowers: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 35

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first ever ACE fan fiction on the internet, to my knowledge. You can see more chapters on my "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or on my Deviant Art page here.


That Sunday, Ronny was set to arrive to dinner any minute, and Pudge could not stop pacing. In his mind, he prayed for a sign, some clue that he wasn't destined for a lifetime of loneliness. That they were as ordinary as any other couple. It seemed too good to be true, that he was not meant for a lifetime of loneliness (or an eternity in hell), but what if it was true, and he missed out because of his fears of hell?
"Please, God, just give me a sign, either way," Pudge thought. "I just want to know if this is normal, or not. If it's acceptable to you, like other couples are."
If they were even a couple, that was, or on their way to being a couple. He hoped he had not misunderstood Ronny. He hoped for a sign in that area, too.

Marcy stirred the spaghetti sauce briskly, trying to do something with her nervous, nervous hands. Was she doing the right thing, by encouraging Pudge like this? What if her baby ended up in hell?
"Well, at least we'll be together," she thought. In spite of how blasphemous it was, she wanted to be with her boy, even more than she wanted to be with Jesus. God had given her Pudge, as a wonderful gift and a blessing, so why did she feel so guilty for loving him so much?
Her late husband had seemed to love God through his love of his family. She wondered why it was a great sin to be too devoted a mother. Then she felt guilty for wondering.
"Please, just give me a sign, Lord," she thought. "Even if you did create him to be with a man, is Ronny really the right choice? He's not even a believer. And how do I even know he'd be good to my Pudge?"

Ronny arrived at Pudge's house, dressed as if he had just been at church (though he obviously hadn't), in black slacks and a button-down shirt. He was much more nervous than the other times had been invited over to Pudge's house. He felt like he was going to meet a girl's parents, though he already knew Mrs. McMercy. So much had changed, in only a few days.
Pudge and him were now...something. That was, if Pudge had been talking about the same thing he had been talking about. He hoped he had not misunderstood Pudge. He was so nervous, talking to Pudge, since they had kissed.
Ronny almost felt sick with nerves as he parked on the side of the road next to Pudge's house. Mrs. McMercy knew about the kiss. She certainly seemed friendly and eager to see him when she had invited him to Sunday dinner--not upset at all. But he had still brought some very nice and expensive flowers for her--a mixture of red and white roses--just in case.
Ronny smoothed his hair, for the tenth time, made sure the flowers were still perfect, and knocked on the door.
"I'll get it!" he heard a cheerful female voice call from inside.
Mrs. Marcy McMercy opened the door, smiling at him. She was wearing a nice red ankle-length dress and pearls, as if she were dressed up for the occasion, too.
"Come in, Ronny. Oh, you are so sweet!" she exclaimed. "Look, Pudge, he brought you flowers!"

It's Official: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 35

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first ACE fan fiction ever on the internet, to my knowledge. You can see more chapters on the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or on my Deviant Art page here.


Shortly after Happy stopped responding to his texts, Pudge got a call on his cell phone. To his surprise, the number on the screen was Ronny's!
"Uh...hello?" he asked, overly casual.
"Hey, Pudge, um, it's Ronny," the other young man said, sounding a little nervous. Pudge wondered how someone as unflappably smooth and confident as Ronny could be nervous.
"Oh. Hi, Ronny," he said, unsure what else to say.
"Yeah. So, um...you know your mom called me earlier and invited me to dinner Sunday?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah. She did it right in front of me. Why? Do you not want to come?"
"Oh, no. I do. I just...I was just wondering, um..."
"What is it, Ronny?" Pudge prompted.
"Does she know...you know...what happened?" Ronny asked haltingly.
Pudge got a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Ronny wouldn't like the answer. "Yes. She knows. She dragged it out of me," he added quickly.
"Fuck!" Ronny swore, startling Pudge. "So she's trying to evangelize me?!"
"No! No, of course not! She knows you don't like that."
"So why'd she invite me to dinner?"
"Well..." Pudge took a deep breath, his heart racing. "I think she thinks we're...you know...like...a couple or something," Pudge spoke the last few words very quickly, otherwise he would not have been able to say them at all.
"Oh." Ronny was silent for a long, uncomfortable moment. "So...are we...um..."
"Are we...are we what?" Pudge asked, though he thought he knew what Ronny was trying to say.
"Are we...you know...what she thinks we are?"
"Um...I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"Well, I was just asking because, well, I didn't know what you wanted to do. I mean, if you're okay with it..." Ronny trailed off.
"Yeah," Pudge said, a little too quickly. "I mean, yeah. Yeah, I think I'm okay with it. Are...are you okay with it?"
"Um...yeah. Yeah, I think I'm okay with it. Are you okay with it?" Ronny asked.
"Yeah, I just told you I was okay with it," Pudge replied, nervously.
"Okay."
"Okay," Pudge repeated, not sure what to say now.
"So...you know, um...that thing...the thing that happened...?" Ronny began, his voice becoming a little higher, "So it was...was it a...was it a one-time thing, or....?"
"Uh..." Pudge answered, at a loss for words. "I don't know. Do you, um...do you want it to be, or...?"
"Oh, I don't...ha-ha! I don't know," Ronny laughed nervously. "I just thought, maybe, you know, that you didn't like it, or...or something..."
"Oh no, I liked it..." Pudge replied. "I mean, I didn't LIKE it, but I...I mean, I didn't NOT like it, it was...I mean, I liked it, but not like THAT, I mean..." Pudge struggled for words. "I'm leaning towards...I liked it...a little more than I didn't like it, I guess?"
"Yeah! Me too!" Ronny replied, then seemed embarrassed by his enthusiasm. "I mean...you know what I mean..."
"Yeah. I do. Exactly. So...I guess I'll see you Sunday?" Pudge asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah. Sure. Sunday. I'll see you Sunday. Bye."
"Bye."
After he hung up, Pudge could finally breathe. He thought for sure that Ronny was calling to take back what had happened, swear Pudge to secrecy, defensively declare his straightness, deny his part in what had happened...
But no. He and Ronny were...
Pudge could hardly bring himself to say it, even in his mind. He and Ronny were...
A couple. Dating (courting?). Seeing each other.
The thought was only a whisper, in his head, but Pudge held onto it, his face turning red.
He finally understood all of the stories he had heard over the years of his classmates' crushes (even though they, as pure Christian kids dedicated to courtship, had tried not to act upon them). He finally felt the racing heart, the nerves, the feeling that he just wanted to see Ronny, but was too nervous to even bear it!
This was not the way he had felt towards any girl. This was so much stronger, so much deeper as a feeling....
This felt different than anything he had ever felt, or tried to to feel, for a girl.
This felt different. This felt right.
Which was why he was so scared that it was wrong. He couldn't just trust whatever felt right to him, to be right. So was everything that felt right, wrong?
Pudge went to sleep quickly after that, too tired and nervous to think about this matter anymore. He didn't have to think about it, when he was sleeping.

Not Alone: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 34

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the very first ACE fan fiction on the internet, that I know of. You can find more chapters on the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of the blog, or on my Deviant Art page here.


"Oh, my goodness! Okay, Donny, you can stay here. Come right over. I'll see you soon. Love you, Donny." Mrs. Hannah Humble hung up the phone, returning to the dinner table. She normally didn't answer the phone during dinner, but Donny lived by himself, and there was a very windy storm outside.
"What was that about, honey?" her husband asked.
"The electricity to Donny's house got cut off. A tree fell, and he doesn't know when he can get someone out there to restore it. It was between the tiny house he built from that shed, and the main house."
Happy tried not to smile, for Uncle Donny was his favorite, but his father disagreed with his brother-in-law's Christian universalist beliefs. "How...long...will he stay here?" Happy asked.
"I don't know, Happy," Mom replied. "I do hope he doesn't expect his chickens to move into the house with us, too, though."
Uncle Donny arrived about an hour later, a large dog kennel in the back of his old truck. The dog, a small white terrier named George, was sitting beside him in the cab. Donny Lovejoy was a thin, very active man in his sixties, with iron-gray hair, hazel eyes, and what seemed like a perpetual grin on his face. Happy was very excited to see him.
Uncle Donny greeted him with a hug. "How's my favorite nephew?" he asked.
"Good," Happy replied simply, beaming at him.
"Wonderful. Help me get these chickens out of here, will you?"
A squawk from the kennel told him that Uncle Donny had indeed brought his two hens and one rooster with him. After getting the kennel to the backyard, Happy and his parents led Uncle Donny into the house, where they sat down on the couch and chairs to talk.
"Are you hungry, Donny?" Mom asked. "We have some leftovers from dinner..."
"That's very nice, thank you, but I already ate. You are a good cook, though, Hannah."
"Thank you," she smiled. "It must have been quite an ordeal."
"Oh, it was. And I don't much mind it, except I'm kind of getting on in years, you know, and it's nice not to be out there alone with no power in that tiny house."
"Yes, I often worry about you, being out there by yourself," Mom nodded.
"Why...didn't you...ever...get married?" Happy asked.
His uncle shrugged. "Well, I guess I just never met the right guy."
Happy's father started coughing into his water glass.
"You all right there, Harry?" Donny asked, concerned.
"I...yes, I think so. Did you just say the right GUY?" he asked, when he had recovered.
"Well, uh, yeah. I...I thought I was out to you." He looked over at his sister, puzzled.
"Well...anyway, Donny, you must be very tired, after what happened tonight," Hannah said smoothly. "Why don't I show you where you'll be sleeping?"
Happy sat very still, his heart racing. His father was giving him a scrutinizing look, but Happy stared straight ahead, using all of his willpower to make sure that his face was perfectly blank. Perhaps his father would think that he hadn't caught that.
"Hannah," Dad called, following her, Uncle Donny, and the dog, "Can I talk to you?"
As soon as he was gone, Happy sighed in relief, breaking out into a huge grin. He had an ally in the house! Finally, after what seemed like years, he had someone on his side on this issue! As much as his parents had tried to discourage him from making friends with other LGBT Christians, he was finally not alone!

Happy's Rant: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 33

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the very first ACE fan fiction on the internet, to my knowledge. I have more chapters on the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, and on my Deviant Art page here.


After dinner, Pudge still could not stop thinking about what had happened earlier with Ronny. His mother was very loving and supportive, but she wasn't exactly in his situation. He had no one to talk to.
Then he remembered that he DID! He rushed to his room to text Happy.
 "Happy, I went to see Ronny tonight, to tell him about the things you said, and he kissed me," Pudge wrote.
Happy replied right away. "Really? That's awesome! =D"
"No, it's not! My mom's invited him over for Sunday dinner, and I don't know what to do."
"Are you going to kiss him again?"
"No! I don't know. He's not even a believer."
"We'll fix that."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Happy. He's very skittish."
"Why did your mom invite him?" Happy asked.
"I don't know. She said he was her future son-in-law."
"You're lucky. My parents are not as affirming. It's difficult for them, and they think it's a choice. I've got my uncle Donny, though. I think he's affirming."
"Well, I don't know if she's doing the right thing. What if we're wrong, about all of this?"
"Pray for guidance. That's what I do."
"That's what I've been doing, all my life. How do I know, though?"
"I'm not sure. I guess it's easy for me, since I'm single."
"Well, I guess I'm going to remain single, for now, especially regarding someone like Ronny. I'm not getting married until I know for sure that God's okay with it," Pudge texted back, steeling his resolve.
"Must be nice to have the choice," Happy wrote back, which struck Pudge as a bit sarcastic.
"Happy...I'm sure you could find someone, if you wanted to," Pudge wrote, unsure of what else to say.
"As if my parents would let me. Even if I was straight, they might not let me. You have no idea what it's like living in this house, with parents who think you're sinning just by calling yourself gay. Well, what do you call someone who doesn't like girls, when talking about the fact that you don't like girls? Do you how hard it was to come out to them? And then"
The text stopped abruptly. "I have to go. My mom's calling me to dinner," Happy typed back shortly.
"Goodbye, Happy. Thank you for all of your support," Pudge replied, but got no answer.

Happy's Rant: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 33

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first ACE fan fiction ever, that I know of. ACE is a very conservative Christian curriculum/cartoon, and here I've gone and made the unbeliever and one of the believers a gay couple. Oops, clumsy me! 
To see more chapters, see the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or my Deviant Art page here.


After dinner, Pudge still could not stop thinking about what had happened earlier with Ronny. His mother was very loving and supportive, but she wasn't exactly in his situation. He had no one to talk to.
Then he remembered that he DID! He rushed to his room to text Happy.
 "Happy, I went to see Ronny tonight, to tell him about the things you said, and he kissed me," Pudge wrote.
Happy replied right away. "Really? That's awesome! =D"
"No, it's not! My mom's invited him over for Sunday dinner, and I don't know what to do."
"Are you going to kiss him again?"
"No! I don't know. He's not even a believer."
"We'll fix that."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Happy. He's very skittish."
"Why did your mom invite him?" Happy asked.
"I don't know. She said he was her future son-in-law."
"You're lucky. My parents are not as affirming. It's difficult for them, and they think it's a choice. I've got my uncle Donny, though. I think he's affirming."
"Well, I don't know if she's doing the right thing. What if we're wrong, about all of this?"
"Pray for guidance. That's what I do."
"That's what I've been doing, all my life. How do I know, though?"
"I'm not sure. I guess it's easy for me, since I'm single."
"Well, I guess I'm going to remain single, for now, especially regarding someone like Ronny. I'm not getting married until I know for sure that God's okay with it," Pudge texted back, steeling his resolve.
"Must be nice to have the choice," Happy wrote back, which struck Pudge as a bit sarcastic.
"Happy...I'm sure you could find someone, if you wanted to," Pudge wrote, unsure of what else to say.
"As if my parents would let me. Even if I was straight, they might not let me. You have no idea what it's like living in this house, with parents who think you're sinning just by calling yourself gay. Well, what do you call someone who doesn't like girls, when talking about the fact that you don't like girls? Do you how hard it was to come out to them? And then"
The text stopped abruptly. "I have to go. My mom's calling me to dinner," Happy typed back shortly.
"Goodbye, Happy. Thank you for all of your support," Pudge replied, but got no answer.

Inviting Ronny: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 32.5

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first ACE fan fiction ever, to my knowledge. See more chapters on the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or on my Deviant Art page here. 
I originally forgot to upload this one, which was supposed to be Chapter 33. So I just now put it on my Deviant Art page, and I'm putting it here now. 



"What?! Mom, no!" Pudge cried. "What are you going to tell him?"
"That he needs to come to dinner on Sunday."
"But Mom--I don't know if that's right..." he protested. "After what happened, and he's a guy, and--and he's not even a believer!"
"I'm the one doing this, Pudge, not you," she smiled. "This one's on me. I want to get to know my future son-in-law!" she joked.
"Mom!" Pudge shouted, groaning.
"Hush! It's ringing! Oh, hello, Ronny," she said sweetly. "This is Marcy--Marcy McMercy. Yes, Pudge's mother. Pudge and I were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner on Sunday."
"Really?!"
Even Pudge heard that, on the other end of the line.  Pudge was staring at her, open-mouthed.
"Yes, really, dear," she answered.
"Why?" Ronny asked, suspiciously.
"Well...because we think it would be nice to have you over, that's all. Will you come, dear?"
"Uh...yeah. Sure," he replied, sounding confused. "What time? Do I bring anything?"
She hung up shortly after; Marcy was beaming. She had never expected it to happen this way, but had looked forward to this day (or something like it) for a long time. She tried to push aside her constant, nagging doubts and just enjoy this moment. Ronny seemed like a very nice boy now, in spite of his rough beginnings.
"Why did you invite him over?!" Pudge demanded.
"I told you. I want to get to know my future son-in-law," she teased, smiling at him.
"But Mom, we don't even know if we're going to be Side A!" Pudge protested.
"Well, let's not rule out the possibility, not until we do a lot more research and praying about it," she answered, walking over to him and stroking his hair affectionately.
"Ronny doesn't even believe," Pudge said feebly.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" Marcy prodded, beaming at him again.
"No," he said quickly, blushing and looking down. "I just thought...he's not a believer...that's all..."
"You know, I got to talking with this nice universalist guy online the other day," Marcy said thoughtfully. "He thinks that everyone's going to come to know God, eventually, 'by way of Jesus Christ and the cross,' he said. Cited some verses that seemed to say that, too. If he's right, then even Ronny will eventually become a believer, anyway."
"That's impossible, Mom! What about all those verses about hell?"
"There's also the one that says that God is not willing that any should perish. I would hate to think that God doesn't get what he wants. Catholics, like your father was, believe in purgatory, you know, a kind of temporary hell."
"Was this guy Catholic?" Pudge asked.
"No. He said he used to be a 'wet Baptist.'"
"And you listen to this guy, this fake Baptist guy? He sounds homophobic," Pudge groused.
"No, he was gay. Nicest man you ever met. I almost wish I knew some nice guy who's also over sixty," she said thoughtfully.
"He's gay, too? Then he's probably biased," Pudge complained.
Marcy laughed. "No one can please you, can they, Pudge?" she smiled. "You're such a pessimist."
"I don't want to get my hopes up."
"Let's just pray for some kind of sign, either way. But I don't think God wants you to be alone, Pudge," she said. "I can't believe that."
And Marcy secretly wondered if she could ever serve a god who would do that to her precious baby. Or would she be a coward, and not stand up to Him, in order to save her own skin? And what about Pudge? How would God treat Pudge--in this life and the next? She prayed again that God would burn her instead of Pudge, if it came down to that, though she knew that according to her church, substitution was impossible--well, except for the one time, which their whole belief system was built upon...
"There's just so many questions..." Pudge said softly, as if thinking along the same lines.
"I know. And we're not going to find all of the answers tonight,"  Marcy answered. "Go get washed up for dinner," she said, kissing the top of his precious head.

Sides A And B: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 32

This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first ACE fan fiction ever, to my knowledge. You can find more chapters on the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or on my Deviant Art page here.


 It was embarrassing, the thought of talking to his mother about this, but who else could he talk to? He couldn't talk to any of his friends, or the men of his church, because they were all straight and would only tell him he was going to hell (and he knew that already!). He knew his own relationship with God, though--or at least, how hard he tried to have a relationship with God. And he didn't know what to think, about gay Christianity, but he knew he was a Christian. If he wasn't, after accepting Christ (many times), he honestly didn't know what else to do, to become one.
It was very strange. His mother was a woman, so there was that embarrassing aspect, but she also liked men, so there was that that they had in common.
"So...Ronny kissed you," she repeated.
"Yes," to hear him tell it, anyway. He hoped he wasn't really fudging the details, fibbing, or lying, but there was no use telling her the exact details.
"And you wanted Ronny to kiss you?" she asked.
"Yes. Well--no. I mean, I didn't WANT Ronny to kiss me, but I didn't NOT want Ronny to kiss me, either."
"So you were totally neutral on the subject of Ronny kissing you?"
"Yes."
"Okay. So...this thing happened. How do you feel about this, now?"
Pudge turned red. "I...I'm not sure. I mean...if God IS okay with me being...you know...then there's still the fact that Ronny's not a believer."
"But he did say that he got saved once, a long time ago, didn't he?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't know how sincere he was. And he was a kid, so what if he didn't completely understand it?"
"I don't know," she smiled wanly and patted his hand. "But I do think that God loves Ronny, and He understands his situation, and if Ronny was sincere then, God is trying to get him back."
"I know," Pudge smiled, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. "But what do I do, in the meantime?" he asked, more serious now.
"Well...you know he's just going to pull away if we invite him to church, in spite of him going last week. Maybe we should just invite him to Sunday dinner or something."
Pudge's eyes widened. "Mom!"
"What?" Marcy asked, confused.
"Have you forgotten what I just told you? What just happened?"
"Oh. Right. That. Yes, well...I'm not sure what the procedure here is, Pudge. He's...let's call him, perhaps, an almost-believer? And he's a young man. So...I'm afraid everything I know about courting relates to straight couples who are both believers. I guess we have to figure out what to do about...you know," she nodded to him.
Pudge nodded back.
"I know it's a little soon to ask this, perhaps, but...what do you feel called to do, Pudge?"
"About Ronny? I don't know..."
"No. I mean, about your life. I'm not sure what the right answer here is, Pudge. I don't know if I'm Side A or Side B. But I know your heart is sincere. I know you want to please God. Do you feel called to celibacy, Pudge, or...or do you want to get married?"
"Um..." Pudge's mind was blank; he was unable to speak. "I...I don't know..." he shook his head. "I just don't know."
"If you could, would you marry a man?"
Pudge looked down at his feet, nodding. "I don't want to just...you know. I want to love someone. But I don't want to change my beliefs, just because of what I want. I'm scared to do that," he whispered. "And I'm scared that if I was Side A, as they call it, that I would be doing it. I'm scared of..." he trailed off.
"Of hell," she whispered.
Pudge nodded.
"I'm scared too, Pudge. I'm afraid to disagree with anything Pastor Alltruth says. And if I do disagree, I'm afraid it's not my place to say something, or to leave the church. But I think we'll have to leave, eventually," she added, glancing at Pudge. "I know you, of all people, wouldn't choose this, Pudge. And I know there are some people who kill themselves over this. I don't think they could have chosen it. And I know that merely being gay is not a sin. They would try to change you, and I just can't stand to see you hurt like that."
"It might hurt more, to live my whole life alone," Pudge said miserably.
"I don't believe God wants you to be alone, Pudge," Marcy answered, suddenly realizing that she meant it. "I can't ever see God wanting you to be unhappy. Maybe you are trying to change your beliefs just to suit your wants, but it's not necessarily the case. Straight people have it easy, after all, and they didn't earn that at all! Why shouldn't you have someone, too?" she asked, defiantly. Though a tiny voice in her head was screaming that she was in rebellion and would burn in hell for it, she still wondered why God would outlaw something that harmed no one and gave a lot of people a lot of happiness, even if it wasn't "God's design." She said as much.
"But Mom, supposedly it does harm people," Pudge protested. "It's apparently harming me."
"They told you that being what you are is a sin. They never told the straight kids that. And you can't tell me that straight people are made to struggle as much as gay people are. They have it easy, for no other reason than that they won life's lottery. They didn't do a thing to earn their privileges. So who are they to deny them to you?" she demanded, her anger rising.
"But what if God does?"
"Why would God be this unfair to my baby? Why would he create love, and marriage, and sex, and children, and all of these great things, and then only give them to some? I can't believe that God would not let you be as happy as that arrogant little Ace. I love that kid, but I know how he gets, sometimes. With God, all things are possible--and God could have made you straight. Why didn't He?!"
"I...I don't know," Pudge answered, almost looking scared of her.
"It seems too good to be true, the things I'm reading lately, but...I hope they are. I hope you find love someday." And I pray God burns me in hell, instead of you, if I lead you astray--God forbid, she thought.
"Thank you, Mom," Pudge said softly, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Thank you."
"You know, I too married a man that some people thought God didn't approve of," she confided. "You know your father was Catholic."
"Yes, I know."
"In fact..." she smiled, walking over to the phone.
"Mom? What are you doing?" Pudge asked, a hint of fear and confusion in his voice.
Her smile deepened. "I'm calling Ronny."

Marcy's Secret: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 31

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the very first ACE fan fiction, that I know of, and like many other fan fiction stories, it features a gay couple which was not in the original story (especially in a conservative Christian comic strip in which the women don't wear pants). For more chapters, see the "Gay Christian Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or my Deviant Art page here.



When Pudge returned home, his mother was making dinner. He slunk in the door, self-consciously.
"Hey, Pudge, where have you been?" his mother asked cheerfully from the kitchen. "Visiting one of your friends?"
"I...I guess you can say that..." Pudge replied quietly, feeling sick now that he was with his mom.
"Pudge?" his mother appeared from the kitchen, looking concerned. "Pudge, what's wrong?"
 "I...I went to see Ronny tonight."
His mother's eyes were wide. "Oh?" she asked, a little too casually.
"Not like that!" Pudge said quickly. "It wasn't like that, not at all!"
"Okay. I know. What happened, Pudge? Please, you can tell me. You won't get in trouble!"
"Nothing happened, Mom! Not what you're thinking of!"
"Pudge, you can tell me anything..." she said gently.
"There's nothing to tell! Not what you think, anyway!" he added hastily, afraid that he was sinning again by lying. He thought that he couldn't go five minutes without sinning in one way or another. He might not even be able to breath without sinning.
Marcy took a deep breath, calming herself and putting her hands on Pudge's shoulders, in spite of his resistance. "Pudge, look at me. Listen to me. If you had unprotected sex with Ronny--"
"MOM!" Pudge shouted, horrified.
"Listen to me! I'm your mother!" she reminded him, which seemed to shut him up for the moment. "If you had unprotected sex with Ronny, we need to get you to the hospital to get a shot."
"Why do you think I would do that? Don't you know I'm a Christian?!" he demanded.
"Even Christians make mistakes. You don't need to die from it."
"But the wages of sin is death! Who cares about the fornicators? They get what's coming to them!"
 Marcy flinched as if he had physically struck her. Pudge was looking eerily like Ace in his "wise mode."
"How can you say that?!" she asked. "God is not willing that any should perish!"
"They get what's coming to them, though. That's just what happens."
"That does not mean that a mother should have to lose her children, because of their sins," she nearly choked. "Losing a child is worse than dying. Don't you dare put me through that."
"I didn't sin, Mom! What kind of person do you think I am?! I don't make THOSE kinds of mistakes!"
"I made those kinds of mistakes," she said quietly.
"What?" he asked, shocked.
"I wasn't a virgin when I married your father. I think my life turned out all right, in spite of that fact. I have you, don't I? And your father, for a while."
"But...but...that's impossible! You really...?"
She nodded. "I really. And I didn't die from it, and there's no reason you should, if you make mistakes like mine. Now...is there anything you want to tell me, Pudge?"
Pudge stared at her for a long time. "No. I mean...well, not like that. We didn't do anything. I mean, not anything like that. Not what you're thinking of."
"What happened, Pudge?" she softly prompted.
"Ronny's gay, too. Or at least...he's...something. We...we kind of...we kind of kissed."
To his surprise, his mother didn't overreact, she simply nodded. "All right. Come on," she sat down, patting the couch beside her. "Let's talk about this."

Pudge's Struggle: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 30

 This is my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first ever ACE fan fiction, that I know of. To see more of our favorite gay couple, see the "ACE Gay Fanfiction" page at the top of this blog, or my Deviant Art page here.

 

Pudge took his time going home, for he had a lot on his mind. What had happened back there? He had not planned for that to happen! Yet a part of him wondered if he really had, all along. Part of him was very, very pleased he had kissed Ronny--that Ronny had wanted to be kissed!--but that was probably only his sinful flesh. (Or had Ronny kissed him? He wasn't exactly sure what happened. Ronny had seemed to initiate the kiss, but Pudge was the one to finally make it happen.)
 But if he had kissed a girl, then he would have compromised his "emotional purity," so why would it be okay if he kissed a boy? And yet he couldn't get any kind of "accountability partner," to confide in, or he would be kicked out of the church!
Was he forced to slide slowly into sin, just because of the shame culture in his church? They certainly didn't mean to create such an environment (or at least, he hoped they didn't), but it was there, nonetheless. He was beginning to think that one didn't have to hate somebody, in order to hurt them. How many times had he accidentally hurt the people he loved, after all? He was just lucky that his mother wasn't hurt by his being gay. He thought his grandparents might be, though...
He feared the choices he would make, if he were to start backsliding. He didn't want to become promiscuous and irresponsible, get AIDS, commit suicide! Maybe if he didn't want to do those things, he would not do them anyway. But maybe he would become a different person, and Satan would take over his life.
Was he backsliding already? He always feared that he was, and was often very certain that he was. Even before he fully realized that he was gay, he had the constant impression of God being disappointed in him.
But what could he do? He forced himself to read the bible and pray, even when it brought back all of the feelings of inadequacy and being unlovable (loved, perhaps, by God, but objectively unlovable, nonetheless--created in the image of God, but also a filthy, terrible sinner). He was so vigilant against blasphemy and lust in his own thoughts, that he found it very difficult to relax and go to sleep every night. He had never said no to anyone asking for his help, even if he had needed to study that night or if he was giving away a pencil that he himself needed for an assignment. He had never talked back to his mother, not even to ask if he could do his chores later, as he was tired or had homework. It was always "Jesus, Others, You," but very little actual "J.O.Y." He hoped he was not blaspheming by just thinking these things.
He had fought his own feelings for so long, begging God to change him--and it wasn't just his homosexuality that he had begged God to change. Every little thing from getting angry to questioning the authority of Pastor Alltruth in his head, he agonized over. It all seemed so easy to every other Christian. Why couldn't God just make him good enough? He knew he couldn't be perfect, but why couldn't God make him good enough to please Him, at least most of the time?
He often wondered if he was really saved. But he had rededicated his life to Christ so many times that he knew exactly what would happen: He would get excited, promising God that THIS time was going to be different, THIS time he was going to make it work, THIS time he was going to be on fire for God!
But then, slowly, he would find himself "failing" again--and again, and again, and again. He knew he was sincere, or that he at least really, really, really tried to be sincere!
What was wrong with him, that he never felt the peace and joy that he was supposed to feel as a Christian? He knew that joy might be different from happiness, according to his church, but wasn't joy supposed to at least not include unhappiness?
No! No, he wasn't unhappy! Not with God! He was a Christian, and Christians didn't complain about God, or their relationship with God! Christians loved God and didn't criticize Him, or do anything that might be criticizing. He said a quick prayer of forgiveness, hoping that he had not sinned by feeling this way.

First Kiss: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 29

Neither of them seemed to know what to say after that. Pudge thought about the note, about how wrong he had been about Ronny, and apparently about Suzie too. The note reminded him of something else.
"Ronny, did you really keep the bible I gave you, all those years ago?" he asked.
Ronny's olive skin started turning a darker shade of red. "Well, um, yeah. I mean, my friend gave that to me. So...yeah, I kept it."
"But you didn't keep anything from any of our other friends, did you?"
Ronny thought of the gospel tract from Ace that he had thrown in the garbage last week. "Hell, no," he rolled his eyes, before realizing that he had just cussed in front of Pudge. "I mean, you're much more bearable than the others. You always have been."
"Oh."
Pudge sounded disappointed. Ronny had to be imagining it, though. He spied the paper that Pudge had brought with him, fallen on the floor and forgotten. "So you...you saved my drawing?" he asked tentatively. "Or was that just to show me...?"
"Yeah," Pudge replied, a little too casually. "Yeah, I saved it."
They both looked up from it at the same time, and caught each other's eyes. They stared into each other's gazes for a long moment, wondering if they really saw what they thought they saw.
After a long while of this, Ronny tentatively leaned forward, just a few inches. Pudge could lean away, and pretend it was nothing on Ronny's part, or...
Pudge hesitated, then also leaned forward. They were sitting about a foot away from each other, close but still conceivable for mere friends to sit at that distance.
His heart racing, Ronny leaned even closer, nearly holding his breath. Their faces were almost touching now.
They stayed that way for a brief moment. Then, realizing it was up to him to make this happen, Pudge closed his eyes and met Ronny's lips with his own.
Pudge didn't know what to expect from his first kiss, but he had not been expecting this. He knew seeing fireworks only happened in cartoons, but he couldn't really feel what was going on in his face, over the pounding of his heart and the shaking of his hands.
Ronny had never expected to kiss a guy, much less tonight, and kissing Pudge! It felt weird, to be kissing a man, and yet his heart was pounding and he felt the exact same way, in his body, that he had felt when kissing girls. This was perhaps more intense though, because of who this guy was.
It lasted a few long seconds, then they broke apart, Pudge moving away from Ronny a few inches on the couch. Both of them were panting, shocked at what had happened, and yet...
They stared at each other, open-mouthed...then the slightest hint of a surprised smile played across Ronny's lips. Pudge started to return it, then was delighted when Ronny's smile deepened. Ronny was looking at Pudge with pure joy and delight, and Pudge couldn't help but return it. They started to laugh softly.
Ronny shook his head. "I never thought..."
"Me either!" Pudge exclaimed.
"Do you, uh, do you want to...come over...again...s-sometime?" Ronny asked, looking at the ground, unusually bashful for him.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'd really like that," Pudge answered, moving his hand closer to Ronny's.
Ronny moved his own hand until they were just touching, side by side. Pudge moved a few fingers on top of Ronny's hand. Ronny turned his hand over, palm up, and soon their fingers were intertwined.
They stayed like that a long while, not looking at each other, just enjoying the feel of their hands holding each other. Ronny closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Pudge's hand on top of his own, even enjoying the pounding of his own heart. Both their hands were sweaty, but he didn't care, and Pudge didn't seem to, either.
Pudge watched Ronny's face as he held his hand. He had his eyes closed, lips slightly parted. He looked completely at peace and content. Pudge squeezed his hand a little harder, for a brief moment. Ronny squeezed back.
As if sensing Pudge watching him, he opened his eyes, looking over at Pudge. Pudge was smiling at him, genuinely happy.
Both their eyes wandered down to their hands, resting so comfortably against one another, Pudge's lying on top of Ronny's.
Ronny began to imagine their whole bodies tangled up in such a way, not just their fingers. As if thinking the same thing, Pudge removed his hand.
"I...I should go," he said quietly. "My mom would be home by now..."
"Are you going to come back?" Ronny asked, a little worried.
Pudge met his eyes. "Yes, Ronny. I'll come back. I promise."
"Can you drive, after...?" Ronny trailed off, thinking of how he felt right now.
"Yes, I think so."
Pudge got up off the couch, with an effort, bending to pick up Ronny's drawing.  "Can I keep this?" he asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure," Ronny answered, rising himself. He did not stand up straight, because apparently, his body was telling him he wasn't straight.
Reluctantly, Ronny walked him to the door, where they awkwardly stood, not knowing what to do or how to end this--this evening. This date? Ronny didn't know what this was, but was grateful for it, nonetheless.
Ronny tried to shake hands, then they changed their minds and settled for a hug, Ronny pecking Pudge on the lips.
"Um...bye Ronny."
"Bye, Pudge."
Pudge opened the door and left. Ronny stood there, staring after him, for a moment, then reluctantly went back inside. He hoped Pudge really would come back, or at least call him. Pudge seemed more okay with himself, somehow, now, but Ronny didn't know how Pudge really felt about it, now that something had happened between them. He was as sad to see religion have him, as he would be if it was another guy.
"Jesus better not steal my boyfriend!" he muttered angrily, then broke into a surprised but delighted little laugh at the word "boyfriend." Even he couldn't stay angry, thinking of Pudge and all of the scary but thrilling possibilities.

Totally Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 28

Ronny tore his eyes away from Pudge's gaze, shaking his head, trying to shake the question off. But a couple of tears were flowing down his face. His throat was closed up. He wanted to deny it, but he couldn't speak. He couldn't even look at Pudge.
What was wrong with him? Pudge was gay too! He knew he shouldn't care, but this was a huge issue for him. He had never thought of himself as gay, or wanted to be. He couldn't be gay; his life would be so much harder. How would he even come out, much less deal with discrimination or violence?
"It's okay, Ronny," Pudge said, touching Ronny's hand. "It's okay."
"I...can't...I don't...I just don't know," Ronny croaked, wiping away more tears.
"It's okay. Come on," Pudge got up, grabbing Ronny's hand and pulling him to his feet. Pudge grabbing his hand felt good--too good, almost, for comfort. Pudge hugged him, rocking side to side slightly. Ronny put his forehead on Pudge's shoulder, the tears still coming down. They stayed like that for a long time, Ronny sobbing and unable to speak, Pudge intermittently murmuring soothing words of encouragement. "It's okay. It's okay."
 After about a minute of quiet sobbing, Ronny started to slowly feel a little bit better. He lifted his head, looking at Pudge. "I...I think I'm...I think I might be...I think I'm...I'm...gay," he said finally, the last word sounding very strange to him. He didn't "feel" gay--but what else do you call it? And what was it supposed to feel like? "I'm gay," he added tentatively.
Pudge smiled, crying himself now. "Okay," he nodded. "That's okay. I'm really proud of you, Ronny." His smile deepened, his eyes sparkling with what looked like happiness, and...love? Was Ronny imagining things?
Ronny smiled too, shrugging sheepishly. Pudge still had his hands on his arms--he was still in Pudge's arms, he thought almost guiltily. "I don't really understand it," he explained. "But..." Ronny frowned, starting to feel emotional again. "I guess...I guess I am, apparently."
"Were you watching..." Pudge trailed off, looking at Ronny quizzically.
Ronny nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "First time in my life, I...I had to know, for sure." He moved away, sitting back down on the end of the couch.
Pudge sat down about a foot away from him now, facing him. "When did you start to know? Or suspect?"
"Well...I guess it was when you told me you were gay. I thought that I might be, too. Especially because, well, you just seem like a normal guy. Not what I expected, you know?"
Pudge nodded. "I was...I was kind of afraid, when I realized I was, that...that I'd become one of those guys, you know?"
Ronny shrugged. "I wouldn't care, if you were one of those guys." To Ronny's surprise, he meant it. "It might be a little weird, but...it wouldn't really bother me, I guess, in the long run."
"I don't know. I guess in my church, they always taught that men should be men, and women should be women, you know? Or like, everyone should be traditional, I mean. There's different rules and stuff. That's why the stereotypes bothered me, I think. But why are you bothered?" Pudge asked suddenly. "You're not a believer, you shouldn't have a problem with your being gay."
Ronny shook his head. "You don't know my dad. My mom's mellowed, so she'd probably just cry, but if he found out--well, let's just say, I'm glad I'm bigger now."
"What do you mean, bigger now?" Pudge asked softly. "Did he abuse you?"
"Not physically," Ronny said evasively. "Well, almost, one time. It was...it was because of you," he said hesitantly.
"Me?" Pudge exclaimed. "What did I do?"
"Um..." Ronny suddenly seemed to realize that he had said too much. "You didn't do anything," he said quickly, avoiding Pudge's eyes.
"How could he have known, when I didn't even know?" Pudge asked. "Was it because I was a Christian?"
"That was part of it, I guess, but not all of it. Not the main reason."
"What was that about, Ronny? You can tell me. I won't repeat it to anyone."
Ronny looked embarrassed. But what else could he tell Pudge? His eyes were fixed on a spot in the floor as he began. "Remember that time when Ace and the others went away to bible camp, and you and me spent all summer together, pretty much?"
"Yeah," Pudge nodded, smiling warmly. "That was really fun. We were twelve or so, I think?"
Ronny nodded. "I think so. Well, I really liked hanging out with you. You were, like...like my best friend, at least at the time. I don't know what I was thinking, but," Ronny took a deep breath. "I wrote you that note. The one you mentioned before, that you thought was from a girl. I never said anything, because my dad found it, and totally flipped out about it. I didn't mean it that way! At least, I don't think I did!"
"You wrote that note?!" Pudge repeated, in shock. "I thought it was from Suzie!"
Ronny flinched at the mention of the name.
"I'm sorry," Pudge said quickly. "I didn't mean to bring her up."
Ronny shook his head. "I don't get it," he remarked. "I still like girls, too, apparently, so how can I like dudes, now?"
"You're bisexual?" Pudge asked in surprise. "I didn't think that was a real thing!"
Ronny stared at Pudge, cocking his head to the side. "I guess maybe I am. Don't tell anyone," he added.
"Of course not. You haven't told anyone about me, have you?"
"No. Never. I know it could be bad for you. I wouldn't do that to you, Pudge," he said simply.
"Thanks," Pudge answered.

Totally Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 27

Pudge had hoped that Ronny would not mind him showing up unannounced, but how was he to convince Ronny to let him come over on the phone? He would have to say that he needed to talk to him, and then Ronny would ask about what. And how could he ask such a question over the phone? Pudge couldn't refuse to answer, since Ronny would assume that he wanted to talk about Jesus, and Ronny's lack thereof. Ronny would not take kindly to that.
Perhaps it was impolite to ask about Ronny, but Ronny knew about him (though at the time he had felt he had no choice but to tell the very worried Ronny). And this would be in private, and he felt that Ronny needed to hear that whatever he was, it was all right. If he had truly been okay with himself, after all, he might have told Pudge that he was also gay.
Pudge also wanted to know, for his own reasons. But he wouldn't mention those.
His heart pounded as he drove over that Friday evening, Pudge getting more anxious as he parked and walked up the small, unkempt front yard to the door.
To his surprise, somewhere in the house small Ronny must have seen him, because he suddenly yelled, "Pudge!" in an excited tone. Ronny was happy to see him! Pudge instantly relaxed. He had been so afraid of bothering Ronny, and now his friend was happy he was there!
To his confusion, though, Ronny took his time coming to the door. Pudge knocked tentatively, waited nearly a minute, then rang the doorbell. He hated to be rude, but he was starting to get worried. Was Ronny sick or something? Was he being killed in there?
He heard running, and Ronny opened the door, breathless and nervous. "Pudge!" he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, um, I'm sorry to bother you, Ronny, I just thought I'd stop by, I...didn't you see me come up?" Pudge asked.
"No. Why?" Ronny seemed confused.
"You shouted at me. You were like, 'Pudge!' so I assumed you were looking out the window."
"Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I saw you. I just...I forgot about that," he said quickly.
Pudge stared at him in disbelief. "Ronny, are you on drugs?!"
"What?! No! No, of course not! Hey, you want to come in?" he changed the subject.
Pudge stepped inside. The lights were dim, as if Ronny hadn't been in the tiny living room. There was a solitary couch facing a TV, with a small table beside it. There were a couple of dirty dishes on it, but the place was pretty clean otherwise.
"Want a soda?" Ronny asked, already heading towards the kitchen. He seemed jumpy, almost guilty, as if he were hiding something.
"NO! Ronny, stop! What's going on here? I'm starting to worry about you!"
Ronny stopped, swallowing hard. "Okay, Pudge, you want to know the truth? I was looking at porn when you came up," he said bluntly, "and then seeing you frightened me, so I yelled. That's what happened."
"Oh." Pudge hoped it was the whole truth. He had never thought Ronny would resort to substance abuse, but he had also found out that Ronny had been hurt more than he realized, growing up with friends like his. Pudge couldn't deny that, though they meant well and loved him, he himself found it stressful trying to live up to their standards. How much worse might it be, for someone like Ronny? Ronny didn't believe the same things, but he might have felt judged by them.
"Um...should I leave?" Pudge asked.
"No. No, it's fine. Unless you want to leave. I didn't mean to shock you," he smiled apologetically.
"It's okay," Pudge shrugged sheepishly, though, indeed, he was shocked. "You...have different beliefs."
"Yeah," he nodded.
There was a moment of awkwardness between them, not unlike the one right after Pudge had told Ronny he was gay.
"But I washed my hands!" Ronny blurted out uncomfortably, showing Pudge his wet hands.
"Okay." Pudge nodded encouragingly. He didn't know what else to say. He wondered briefly what kind of pornography Ronny had been viewing. With Pudge's luck, it must have been straight porn.
"So...um...you...you want to sit down?" Ronny asked, indicating the couch.
"Sure." They sat down uncomfortably, on opposite ends of the couch.
Pudge had never been in a situation where someone had told them they had just viewed pornography a few minutes ago, but he knew all about "soul-winning" and breaking the ice of being in a stranger's home. He relaxed, then asked pleasantly, as if nothing had happened, "So, Ronny, how did you like church on Sunday?"
"Um...it was...interesting, I guess? Wasn't Sodom where they had all the gay sex?" he asked.
"Yeah. Well, actually, I've been reading about stuff like that, and it was actually rape--not sex," Pudge began excitedly.
"They changed it to 'kill' for the kiddies. They actually handed out a paper, that said Sodom didn't care for the poor, and that's what was wrong. It was actually pretty...enlightened, I guess."
"Really?" Pudge was surprised. But knowing what he now did about Happy, maybe he shouldn't be. "I didn't know that."
"Yeah, it was...it was okay. For what it was." Ronny shrugged.
"It was nice seeing you there, though," Pudge couldn't help but add.
Ronny stared at him, his lip curled up in disgust. "Oh god, Pudge, is that what this is about?! I thought you were too gay to preach at me!"
"I'm still a Christian!" Pudge protested. "But that's not why I'm here--honest! I came because of this!" Pudge took the paper out of his back pocket.
"Oh god," Ronny said softly. "Oh no. I didn't get you in trouble, did I? I didn't mean to leave it there, I swear!"
"It's okay! No one found it, except...well, except a friend. Are you gay, Ronny?" he asked softly.
Ronny stared at him, mouth open, suddenly near tears. He was unable to answer.

Completely Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 26

Pudge stayed up late that night, devouring all of the links Happy had given him, and the links from those links. It seemed like blasphemy, the thought that Pastor Alltruth could be wrong. But, encouraged by his mother, he tried to puzzle it out for himself, for the first time in his life. He hoped that God knew he was sincere, and that he would find the truth, whatever it was.
But it seemed too good to be true, that he wasn't sinning, by just being gay, and that God wanted him to find love and happiness--even with a man!
And when he thought of a man...well, he didn't want to think of Ronny, even if he eventually became "Side A" (no sex before marriage, same as with a straight marriage). Ronny was not even a believer! But Pudge did take heart from the fact that Ronny had apparently accepted Christ, at least once as a child. And he had had bad experiences from Pudge's friends. Perhaps he simply needed to know that God loved him.
But Pudge didn't want to alienate him by bringing it up. He didn't know what to do, here.
That picture nagged him. Was it a sign that he liked Pudge back? Or was Ronny just mocking him? Ronny had been very nice to him lately, like they were twelve years old again. He didn't want to believe that of him. And wouldn't Ronny be mocking himself, too?
He didn't know if this was a foolish choice, or not, but, after much prayer for guidance, and feeling strangely drawn to do this, Pudge dug out the card Ronny had given him, which he had carefully stashed away in his desk drawer. A quick reverse-directory search online gave him Ronny's address. It would be far too dangerous to talk to him at work, for both of them. And Pudge didn't know if he was letting his other motives get the best of him, but Ronny needed to hear that it was okay, whatever he was. And he felt he should talk to him, in person.


 Ronny, meanwhile, was doing some online research of his own over the next few days. He apparently still had the capacity to vigorously appreciate the girl-on-girl stuff, as well as the guy-on-girl stuff. He stayed hydrated and carefully wrote down his results--and then came the category that he dreaded.
This was it! This was what would possibly decide the course of the rest of his life. Something told him that if he opened that door--perhaps that closet door--just a little tiny bit, it would lead to more and more changes in his life. He could end up in gay Narnia, for all he knew.
But he felt he had to do it. He had to know! And he wasn't sure which outcome he really wanted the most. One was easiest, and safest, but the other...
Ronny knew that he couldn't just let it go, if he did feel this way. He couldn't just ignore that part of himself, deny that it existed--punish himself. But what would acting on these feelings lead to? Especially in regard to Pudge? (If Pudge even wanted him in return, that was.)
Trembling, Ronny knew he could not put this off forever. His heart pounding, he started playing the first video he could find.
Nothing happened at first. But then--then he was drawn into it, more and more. Both men were absolutely gorgeous, muscles glistening, huge cocks practically throbbing and quivering. Ronny began to throb, too.
He tried to fight the urge, but as they undressed on his computer screen, Ronny's hand slowly found its way downward. The black-haired young man started to suck on his blond companion's shaft, taking it so far down his throat that Ronny thought the man would throw up.
"Oh, God," Ronny moaned, closing his eyes. He imagined himself in that situation, between those two men, their sweaty bodies pressed against his own. He fell deeper into the fantasy, under its spell; this was one of the most intense fantasies he had ever had.
Then, between the two buff strangers, he saw Pudge, kneeling in front of him. Pudge was smiling mischievously, running his tongue along Ronny's stiff cock, taking it slowly into his mouth...
"Oh, oh God, oh God, oh--Pudge!" he found himself shouting at the last word.
Ronny came suddenly, in only a few seconds. Surprised, he cleaned up quickly, then turned off the video, now disgusted by their antics. His heart was pounding, he was shaking all over, he was scared--and he was gay.
The doorbell rang.

Almost Completely Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 25

As soon as Becky walked the children out, Happy grabbed Ronny's paper, something telling him that he shouldn't let anyone else see it.
His hunch was confirmed. Both angels had erections, and one was saying to the other, "Hey Pudge, want to invent a new sex act? When in Sodom, after all..."
"Sure, Ronny," the other angel replied. "But you bend over first!"
Happy blanched, then folded it quickly and put it in his pocket.
Happy had a part-time job stocking shelves at the same grocery store that Pudge worked at as a cashier. "Pudge, can you give me a ride home?" he asked that Monday, after making sure that his shift ended at the same time Pudge's did.
"Sure, Happy, I'd be glad to," Pudge replied.
They got in Pudge's car, making small talk for a while.
"So, how was Ronny in your Sunday School class?" Pudge asked.
"It was...interesting," Happy replied. "You two are dating, aren't you?" he asked casually.
"Gah! What?!" Pudge nearly ran a stop sign, he was so shocked at the question.
"I know you two are dating. It's okay with me. I'm gay, too," he said, hesitatingly.
"What?" Pudge asked, incredulously. "But--but you're so..."
Happy narrowed his eyes. "So...what?"
"Normal."
Happy did not know what to make of it. No one had ever really called him normal, before. "I know what I am. You are too, aren't you?"
Pudge was the color of a beet, and he couldn't even look at Happy. He stared at the steering wheel, until someone behind them honked their horn, forcing him through the deserted intersection.
"I...never meant to be this way," Pudge said quietly as he drove.
"Me neither," Happy replied. "Pull over."
Pudge complied. "I'm thinking of leaving our church," Happy said slowly, quietly.
"What? But this is our home! Our family!"
"Some families kick out their gay kids. This one will, I'm sure of it."
"But they're so full of love!" Pudge objected.
Happy shook his head. "They'll think they have to do it. They think it's a choice."
"You mean--being this way?"
"Would you choose it, Pudge?" Happy asked, tears in his eyes.
"No! Never. Not in a million years."
"I don't know about you," Happy said, slowly, "but...I've never..been with someone...even in my mind. As much as I could help it."
"As much as a straight person could help it."
Happy nodded.
"Then they've got nothing on us!" Pudge exclaimed. "There's no reason to object to us!"
"Do you think that matters?" Happy asked.
Pudge didn't reply. They both knew the answer to that.
Happy took the paper out of his pocket. "He drew this--Ronny drew this. In church. Are you two boyfriends?"
"No! No, of course not. I can't even imagine ever having one, I--wait, RONNY drew this?" he demanded, really noticing it for the first time.
Happy nodded. "He likes you," he said.
"No. That's impossible. He's straight, I'm sure of it. But maybe...I don't know! It doesn't matter, though; it's not right," Pudge said finally, crumpling it up.
"Maybe not," Happy said quietly. "There are some websites I've read. They say things I never even thought of. I can email you."
"Yeah, I guess. Might as well." Pudge sighed, slumping against the seat. "You won't tell anyone, will you, Happy? I could get fired!"
"I won't, if you don't tell on me."
"Deal."
After dropping Happy off, though he was ashamed at the content of the cartoon, Pudge picked up the paper, carefully smoothing it out. He knew he would be saving it, sin or no sin. He hoped God would understand.

Mostly Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 24

"I think we should let him, Pastor," Becky spoke up, appearing beside Happy. "The children's lessons are probably easier to understand for an unchurched person. Besides, it will hopefully whet his appetite for even more biblical truth," she smiled at Ronny benevolently; she was condescending without meaning to be.
Ronny plastered a smile to his face, just focusing on getting through one moment at a time.
About ten minutes later, he was squeezing himself into a tiny desk, sighing in relief. This perhaps wouldn't be so bad. Maybe the children's versions were more bearable.
About a dozen children, appearing to be from first through third grade, giggled at the site of a grown man sitting in their class with them. He wasn't a teacher, like Happy and Becky, either.
Happy handed out pages to color and crayons, smiling at Ronny as he gave them to him. Ronny looked at his paper; it was a picture of two big angels standing next to the gates of a biblical city. Ronny didn't know much about angels, but assumed that a lot of bible stories featured them.
 "Today we will be learning about how God saved Lot and his family," Becky announced. "Lot and his family lived in a very wicked city called Sodom. God was going to destroy Sodom, so he sent two angels to warn Lot and his family to flee the city. But the men of Sodom came to Lot's door and demanded that the angels come out, so that they could kill them. But Lot refused, and the angels blinded the eyes of the men, so that they could get away. Lot and his family fled the wicked city, but his wife looked back at the destruction and was turned into a pillar of salt."
Ronny was confused. He thought he had heard something about God being mad at the gay guys in Sodom, not people trying to hurt or kill angels. Maybe God was mad because the gayness wasn't consensual.
Becky started asking the kids questions about what she had just said, giving out pieces of candy for correct answers. Ronny got bored and started drawing erections on his angels. Then he created a filthy and very irreverent cartoon, complete with little hearts between the two angels.
"Before we have snack, I want to give you all a copy of our bible verse of the week. If you memorize this verse, you will get to pick out a prize from the box next week," Becky explained.
Happy handed him a small paper, glancing at his cartoon and frowning. Ronny picked up the paper and read:

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

Ronny folded the paper up and put it in Pudge's old bible.
After snack time, Ronny heard what sounded like everyone poring out of the service. He would have liked to see Pudge, but didn't want to see Ace or anyone like him--or worse, be invited somewhere by them! "I have to go!" he said abruptly, picking up his bible. "Thanks for the lesson, everyone; I had a great time!" he lied, rushing out.
It wasn't until hours later that he realized, to his horror, that he had left his angel-sex cartoon at the church. He hoped he hadn't gotten anyone in trouble.

Half Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 23

"I--I didn't know you were coming!" Pudge said breathlessly when they were somewhat alone in the still-crowded foyer. "I don't even remember inviting you!"
"You didn't," he winked. "Thought I'd get the Acne off your back."
Pudge's heart skipped a beat in gratitude. "I forgot you used to call him that."
"And he's still painful," Ronny smiled ruefully.
In spite of himself, the corners of Pudge's mouth twinged upward.
"Ronny?" a slow, halting voice asked behind him.
Happy was beaming. "You came!" he said in surprise.
"I said I would, Happy," he nodded, smiling.
"You invited him?" Pudge asked.
Happy nodded, still grinning.
"He invited me, also, just like you did. I promised him I'd sit in on his Sunday School class. I hope you don't mind, Pudge," Ronny explained.
"Oh. Sure. No, not at all. I don't mind," Pudge said lightly, trying to hide his disappointment.
"Hello, boys, who's your friend?" Pastor Alltruth came up, extending a hand to Ronny.
"This is Ronny," Happy said slowly. "I invited him."
"Pudge did, too," Ronny said quickly, shaking the pastor's hand. "Ronny Vain."
"Oh, yes, I've heard of you. Ace told me all about you. I think I may have even met you once or twice. We've been praying for you," he said, as if he was doing Ronny a favor. "I hope you like the message I'm about to preach today," he smiled, condescendingly.
"Actually, Happy wanted me to sit in on his Sunday School class and watch him teach it. I really had my heart set on that."
"Well, I don't know. It is for children..." Alltruth started to object.
"Don't worry, I'm very immature. 'Faith like a little child,' they said. I'll just sit in the corner and won't interrupt anything. I really did want to see my good friend Happy teach the class."
"Well, teaching is more of Becky's department..."
"I help teach too, Pastor," Happy put in.
"I say we let him sit in--we're a welcoming church, after all," another voice said, and a young black man extended his hand to Ronny. "They call me Michael. And you are...?"
"Ronny. Nice to meet you."
"Welcome to our church, Ronny."
Pastor Alltruth looked on in obvious distaste.

Son Of A Buttplug: Pudge And Ronny, Chapter 22

 This catchphrase comes from a conversation between my mom and me. 
Mom: "You're a buttplug, AJ." 
"I'm not a buttplug!"
"You're a buttplug!" She turned to the cat, "Ernie, your mommy is a buttplug!" 
"No!" I protested, "he's not a son of a buttplug!" 
I liked that phrase, so I thought I would include it in my story.



"Son of a buttplug!" Ronny spat to himself as he pulled into the church parking lot. He had never seen so many ugly, printed skirts and stuffy suits. He was being stared at, for his older truck was one of the more battered and ancient vehicles in the parking lot.
"Give me strength," he rolled his eyes, adjusting his tie uncomfortably. Ronny wasn't even sure who he was talking to, and didn't really care; he'd take what he could either from God or the devil. He wondered where in the bible it said he had to wear a noose around his neck just to go visit God. It certainly felt like he was going to his own execution.
With a great effort, he took a deep breath, calming his nerves. He knew what to do. When he swaggered, his hands never shook.
He got out, the picture of self-important cockiness. By coincidence, he had parked next to Pudge's car...


"You know, that sermon last week kind of reminded me of Ronny," Ace was saying. "That's what porn and homosexuality will do to you, you know--that's the cause of it. I've never had a porn problem, never even wanted to see it, and now I'm able to RESPECT my wife," he smiled, glancing at Becky beside him. "I never really feel the need to use her for my own carnal ends. Isn't that right, Christy?"
"Right," she pasted on a smile, nodding uncomfortably and holding her pregnant belly. "Even I have more carnal needs than him, haha!"
"Oh, that sounds nice," Pudge said absently. He was a little envious of Ace and his apparently non-existent temptations. Apparently they had gotten lucky the few times they had done their duty as husband and wife.
"Of course, with Ronny, it doesn't help that he's never set foot in a church in his life, and is never going to, either..." Ace began in his carefully practiced "wise" voice.
"Ronny!" Pudge repeated, startled.
"Yes, Ronny," Ace answered, confused.
"No, Ronny!" Pudge declared, pointing behind Ace.
As if in defiance of Ace's declaration, Ronny Vain was swaggering in there like he owned the place, a silly, cocky grin lighting up his face. His long, wild raven hair was combed back and tamed down, and he was dressed neatly for the first time that Pudge had ever seen. He wore black slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a red tie, which was terribly, irreverently askew.
He saw Pudge and winked at him, then headed towards them.
"Hey, Christy, sexy ankles! Looking good!" he raised his eyebrows flirtatiously, approvingly. Pudge frowned.
Ace's jaw clench.
"Oh, I don't know about that, Ronny," Christy flushed. Pudge thought it wasn't entirely out of embarrassment. "Especially with how swollen they are sometimes, nowadays."
"Maybe I like 'em thick," he grinned goofily.
"Very funny, coming from a man who wears sneakers to church!" Ace said icily.
Ronny shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "I didn't have any dress shoes. These are clean, so I figured they'd be better than coming barefoot."
"And I didn't know you even had a Bible," Ace pressed.
"It's an old one." Ronny pressed it against the side of his pants, trying not to draw attention to it.
Pudge's heart suddenly caught in his throat;  in spite of Ronny's best efforts, he recognized that bible instantly. He couldn't believe Ronny still had it! He had saved it! What did that mean? Or did it mean anything? It at least meant they were friends, didn't it?!
"What are you doing here, Ronny?" Ace interrupted. "You come here to flirt with my wife?"
"Nope, that's just a nice side benefit. Pudge invited me."
Ace stared at Pudge, surprised. Pudge was surprised himself; he did not remember inviting Ronny at all.
"Well, Pudge and Happy," Ronny clarified. "Said I might enjoy the message."
Ronny apparently knew which buttons to press. Ace seemed mollified, at least for the moment. He even gave Pudge a small, approving smile.
"We better go in already," Ace said briskly to Christy. "Come on, Pudge--Ronny," he added, his voice dropping slightly--it was disapproval looking for a reason.
"Actually, I better say hi to Happy first," Ronny contradicted. There was no way he was going to leave without Happy seeing him, and he would rather sit in on the kids class, anyway. He hoped that the Sunday School was lighter on the hellfire and brimstone.
"Yeah, me too," Pudge agreed quickly.

Theoretically Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 21

Ronny flipped through the pages of Pudge's old bible. Pudge's notes were everywhere, in pencil because of the thinness of the paper. At twelve years old, he had gotten a new one for his birthday, he had said, and acted as if he was giving Ronny something very meaningful. Ronny had not know what to say at the time, and wasn't too fond of what it symbolized--or rather the kind of people that it reminded him of. But for some reason he had been unable to throw it out, though he certainly had no interest in reading it at all. At least not the original content, anyway.
It was a children's bible, but he had been invited to a children's class, after all. And now he wouldn't feel so weird and naked at the church, he hoped.
Ronny ran his hands over Pudge's writing, imagining Pudge touching the book, writing in it, wondering if Pudge ever thought of him during these times--he had given it to him, after all. He pictured the look of joy on Pudge's face when he gave this bible to him, with a little trepidation, that his gift might be rejected. He wondered if Pudge had that same look of happiness on his face while reading it. He couldn't ever imagine having a look of joy on his own face, while trying to read a bible. But he hoped Pudge got as much enjoyment from it as he had said he did. It was always nice to see Pudge happy.
No! His daydreams scared him. Pudge was another guy. Ronny didn't have anything against gay guys, but that didn't mean he wanted to be one! He had always thought of himself as straight, as...well, as bad as it sounded, he had thought of himself as "normal."
He wasn't even comfortable around gay guys. Well, except for one, but Pudge seemed like a regular guy, except for the religious fanaticism. But Pudge scared him, lately. Or rather, he scared himself.
"I can't be gay!" he said aloud. "My life will be so much harder!"
Even if he was fully okay with it (which he knew he should be, but he didn't feel okay with it, for so many reasons), his life would be so much more difficult. He could get fired--it was legal in his state--not to mention having to tell his parents. That was if he even found someone in such a rural and small-town area. Not to mention if someone wanted to commit a hate crime against him. And what if he fell in love with a man who wanted to put things up his butt?
"How can it be a choice? How could anyone choose this?" he demanded.
Ronny couldn't stand to think about these things right now. He just had to get through the next few days, dealing with the fundies.
He went into his bedroom, hiding Pudge's bible protectively in his sock drawer. Pudge wouldn't put things up his butt; he was way too shy. He would probably never get laid, with Pudge. Maybe being around Pudge wasn't so scary, after all. He could never really fall in love with a man who never put out, right?
"What is happening to me?" he asked himself quietly. "I still like girls! But..."
But he looked forward to seeing Pudge in church tomorrow--one of the few things actually good about tomorrow. Pudge actually looked pretty handsome in a suit and tie.
Ronny changed his mind, and took out the bible again, setting it on his bedside table so he could still see it and feel it. He had mixed feelings about what it was--but it was something belonging to Pudge, something Pudge had loved and spent so much time on, so it was a treasure.
Absent-mindedly he emptied out his pockets, his thoughts preoccupied. As he reached for his keys, a piece of paper brushed against his fingertips. He pulled it out. It was a small gospel tract, acquired at work, which he had forgotten about until now.
"Fucking Acehole," he nearly spat, throwing it in the garbage.

That's Not What He Meant! Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 20

 "I'm afraid your old things are at your dad's house," Ronny was told over the phone. "Why?"
Shit! Ronny thought. "No reason. Just...wanted some of my old stuff, that's all. Bye, Mom."
The next day, a Saturday, he handed his dad a six-pack (knowing better than to show up empty handed), and spent about an hour rummaging alone through the garage, cracking open boxes and constantly sneezing from all of the dust. Finally, he found what he was looking for. He quickly shut the box again, almost paranoid. He took the whole box, not wanting Dad to see what it was.
"Found what ya wanted?" Dad asked, his eyes glued to a football game as Ronny walked back through the house with his treasure.
"Yeah," Ronny grunted, wanting to get out of there.
"What was it, anyway?"
"Old Playboys. Don't tell Mom."
His dad chuckled. "Let me see 'em."
Ronny moved the box away protectively. "No! I mean...they're not exactly in mint condition, Dad. I don't want you to see them."
"Ha-ha! Good boy! You got a girlfriend, Ronny?"
"A few."
"That's my boy! Wanna watch?" he asked, gesturing towards the tv.
"I really have to be going. Bye, Dad."
"Sure, I understand. Get yourself some pussy for your old man, Ronny."
"Okay. Bye."

When he got home, and had locked the door, it finally felt safe enough to open the box.
He lifted the object out, running his hand over the cover. It had a border of all different colors--like a rainbow. That made him laugh.
"Kid's Study Bible," it said on the front cover.
Ronny opened it to the title page.
"Dear Ronny," was written on the bottom of the page, "I hope this brings you as much joy as it has brought me. It was through these pages that I met the great Love of my life, and I hope you will come to know the love of your life through this book. Love, your friend, Pudge."

Not Very Homo, Though, Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 19

This is my Accelerated Christian Education fanfiction, in which I ship two of the male characters. See earlier chapters on the ACE Gay Fanfiction page at the top of this blog, or my Deviant Art page here.


 
"I am so proud of you, Happy," Dad said as they drove away, putting his hand on Happy's shoulder. "I wanted to slug Ronny just like he wanted you to. But you made this an opportunity to share Jesus with him."
"You shouldn't be so proud of me, Dad," Happy said, slowly. "I still feel angry towards Ronny."
"I know, Happy. It's normal to still feel hurt and angry. You can forgive Ronny and still feel angry," he said, softly
"Okay."
"It's okay to feel whatever you feel."
"REALLY?!" Happy said eagerly, studying his father's face.
His dad was taken aback. "That's not what I meant, Happy. I just meant your feelings."
"These...are my feelings," he said quietly.
"Look, it's like your mother said: We love you no matter what, but we think that you're just confused."
"Pull over. That guy's cute," Happy said, looking out the window.
"Very funny, smart guy," Dad answered. "But you're probably just going through a phase. There's no need for all this coming-out stuff and everything."
"I didn't want to lie to you."
"Look, just give it some time, and some prayer. Things could change."
Happy was silent for a long time, trying to think of something to say. How to tell him that this was real?
"Happy? Are you okay?" Dad said suddenly. Happy had not noticed the tears streaming down his own face.
"This is real," he choked. "I know what I am, even with Down's."
"This isn't about you having Down's, Happy," his dad said, slightly irritated. "It's about you being confused. Anyone can be confused like this."
"I've known for a long time."
"How long do you think you've known?"
"Since...before...before I knew...before I knew liking boys...was bad."
"So...you didn't even know what gay was?" Dad asked slowly, confused.
Happy shook his head.
"I've never heard of that," Dad remarked.
"You named me Happy; what did you expect?"
His dad actually laughed. That was progress, at least, Happy thought.