Totally Homo Pudge And Ronny: Chapter 27

Pudge had hoped that Ronny would not mind him showing up unannounced, but how was he to convince Ronny to let him come over on the phone? He would have to say that he needed to talk to him, and then Ronny would ask about what. And how could he ask such a question over the phone? Pudge couldn't refuse to answer, since Ronny would assume that he wanted to talk about Jesus, and Ronny's lack thereof. Ronny would not take kindly to that.
Perhaps it was impolite to ask about Ronny, but Ronny knew about him (though at the time he had felt he had no choice but to tell the very worried Ronny). And this would be in private, and he felt that Ronny needed to hear that whatever he was, it was all right. If he had truly been okay with himself, after all, he might have told Pudge that he was also gay.
Pudge also wanted to know, for his own reasons. But he wouldn't mention those.
His heart pounded as he drove over that Friday evening, Pudge getting more anxious as he parked and walked up the small, unkempt front yard to the door.
To his surprise, somewhere in the house small Ronny must have seen him, because he suddenly yelled, "Pudge!" in an excited tone. Ronny was happy to see him! Pudge instantly relaxed. He had been so afraid of bothering Ronny, and now his friend was happy he was there!
To his confusion, though, Ronny took his time coming to the door. Pudge knocked tentatively, waited nearly a minute, then rang the doorbell. He hated to be rude, but he was starting to get worried. Was Ronny sick or something? Was he being killed in there?
He heard running, and Ronny opened the door, breathless and nervous. "Pudge!" he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, um, I'm sorry to bother you, Ronny, I just thought I'd stop by, I...didn't you see me come up?" Pudge asked.
"No. Why?" Ronny seemed confused.
"You shouted at me. You were like, 'Pudge!' so I assumed you were looking out the window."
"Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I saw you. I just...I forgot about that," he said quickly.
Pudge stared at him in disbelief. "Ronny, are you on drugs?!"
"What?! No! No, of course not! Hey, you want to come in?" he changed the subject.
Pudge stepped inside. The lights were dim, as if Ronny hadn't been in the tiny living room. There was a solitary couch facing a TV, with a small table beside it. There were a couple of dirty dishes on it, but the place was pretty clean otherwise.
"Want a soda?" Ronny asked, already heading towards the kitchen. He seemed jumpy, almost guilty, as if he were hiding something.
"NO! Ronny, stop! What's going on here? I'm starting to worry about you!"
Ronny stopped, swallowing hard. "Okay, Pudge, you want to know the truth? I was looking at porn when you came up," he said bluntly, "and then seeing you frightened me, so I yelled. That's what happened."
"Oh." Pudge hoped it was the whole truth. He had never thought Ronny would resort to substance abuse, but he had also found out that Ronny had been hurt more than he realized, growing up with friends like his. Pudge couldn't deny that, though they meant well and loved him, he himself found it stressful trying to live up to their standards. How much worse might it be, for someone like Ronny? Ronny didn't believe the same things, but he might have felt judged by them.
"Um...should I leave?" Pudge asked.
"No. No, it's fine. Unless you want to leave. I didn't mean to shock you," he smiled apologetically.
"It's okay," Pudge shrugged sheepishly, though, indeed, he was shocked. "You...have different beliefs."
"Yeah," he nodded.
There was a moment of awkwardness between them, not unlike the one right after Pudge had told Ronny he was gay.
"But I washed my hands!" Ronny blurted out uncomfortably, showing Pudge his wet hands.
"Okay." Pudge nodded encouragingly. He didn't know what else to say. He wondered briefly what kind of pornography Ronny had been viewing. With Pudge's luck, it must have been straight porn.
"So...um...you...you want to sit down?" Ronny asked, indicating the couch.
"Sure." They sat down uncomfortably, on opposite ends of the couch.
Pudge had never been in a situation where someone had told them they had just viewed pornography a few minutes ago, but he knew all about "soul-winning" and breaking the ice of being in a stranger's home. He relaxed, then asked pleasantly, as if nothing had happened, "So, Ronny, how did you like church on Sunday?"
"Um...it was...interesting, I guess? Wasn't Sodom where they had all the gay sex?" he asked.
"Yeah. Well, actually, I've been reading about stuff like that, and it was actually rape--not sex," Pudge began excitedly.
"They changed it to 'kill' for the kiddies. They actually handed out a paper, that said Sodom didn't care for the poor, and that's what was wrong. It was actually pretty...enlightened, I guess."
"Really?" Pudge was surprised. But knowing what he now did about Happy, maybe he shouldn't be. "I didn't know that."
"Yeah, it was...it was okay. For what it was." Ronny shrugged.
"It was nice seeing you there, though," Pudge couldn't help but add.
Ronny stared at him, his lip curled up in disgust. "Oh god, Pudge, is that what this is about?! I thought you were too gay to preach at me!"
"I'm still a Christian!" Pudge protested. "But that's not why I'm here--honest! I came because of this!" Pudge took the paper out of his back pocket.
"Oh god," Ronny said softly. "Oh no. I didn't get you in trouble, did I? I didn't mean to leave it there, I swear!"
"It's okay! No one found it, except...well, except a friend. Are you gay, Ronny?" he asked softly.
Ronny stared at him, mouth open, suddenly near tears. He was unable to answer.