Stuffed With Stuff

There was a time when I had a pretty lucrative (for me) job, where I made more money than I had ever made in my life. And with my penchant for shopping at thrift shops, it went a long way. I was excited and happy at first, finally able to afford nice things, and able to buy them without feeling guilty.
But after a while, my bedroom felt rather cramped (at least for me), and the choice of what to wear became almost overwhelming. I had heard that some people felt bad for the clothes they never wore, but I felt bad about the clothes I never wore. I felt bad because when I saw how much I had accumulated, I felt that I had wasted money. I had just wanted nice things, and when shopping I often felt out of control of my spending.
When I was growing up, I had gotten rid of a lot of things that I later regretted. Some things I was tired of looking at; other things I thought were demonic (or an idol, causing me so much joy that I was sure God was jealous; I am lucky my mom saved some of my favorite childhood toys). I had gotten rid of some stuffed animals in order to be more grown-up. Many of my favorite clothes and toys, too, I had gotten rid of as an effort to please God with my charity, and hadn't really wanted to do it.
I had lost many beloved animals (and even a few humans) over the years, and it was hard to "lose" anything else. Letting something go, sometimes even in a store, felt overwhelming sometimes. So I kept many things that did not make me happy, but that I was afraid to part with.
And now, as I looked around my room, I felt physically full, "stuffed with stuff."
When I was getting ready for school, I chose a scarf. These are more scarves than I will wear in one winter, I thought. I felt ashamed of how many things I had.
I mentioned to my mother how afraid I was of regretting the loss of my things, and she was very sympathetic. "You won't regret it. We'll put your unwanted clothes in boxes and sell them in the classifieds. You can get back some of your money."
That made me feel better, that I could have something from the "bad money" that I felt like I had thrown away. I also believed that any charity would probably welcome money rather than stuff, as they could have their money right away and not when something sold.
I don't shop nearly as much as I used to, and usually it is not my idea. It has taken a lot of work, and learning a few tricks (and how to comfort myself when I had to let something go), but I feel much more in control of my money and my things.

Here is what I learned from that experience:

1) The hardest decisions to make are about the things that you half-like, half-hate, or that you can't make up your mind about.
The things I loved were easy to keep; the things I hated were easy to get rid of; but the in-between things, the ones I couldn't decide on, were the hardest. I sorted my things into three piles: Yes, No, and Maybe. The Maybe items I went back through, judging them individually.

2) Trust yourself to make the right decision.
"Sometimes, I just grow out of things," my mother said. If that was true, then maybe I had grown out of some things too. Maybe I had made wise decisions for the time, but they no longer suited me. I had not wanted to grow out of things; I had wanted to have nice things that I kept for the long term, but maybe I would be happier with a smaller supply and a couple fewer choices.

3) Understand when something you own is a "better version" of something else.
I had two similar pink scarves, but got rid of one, because I understood that I would always pick the other one, if I wanted to wear pink. The one I kept, I liked better. I have also asked myself, in a store, if I own something better at home. If the answer is yes, no matter how good a deal this new thing is, I will always pick the one I already had, and so it would be useless to buy another.

4) Only buy something you would use, eat, or wear right away. I usually only buy things that I can't wait to wear, though that could be more than one shirt, scarf, or what have you. If it's second-rate, then I won't wear it much anyway, and when I do, I won't feel very good in it, because it won't be one of my favorites. 

5) Divide your clothes into three categories, depending on how much you like them. Most of the third-rate clothes should probably go (take pictures of the item and label, if you wish, so you can get it back if you really want it and regret getting rid of it later). The second-rate clothes are probably your biggest pile, but those are probably the clothes that you still don't want to part with. The first-rate clothes are favorites that you want to wear over and over again. They're probably your smallest pile. Even though these are your favorites, I would suggest keeping at least some of the second-rate clothing, because you might be like me and want some variety once in a while. In this way, you can put your "extra" clothes away in a box or something, and "shop" in your closet if you get bored with your favorites.


Going through my stuff and getting rid of some things is still one of my favorite things to do, because I enjoy what I have left even more. (Right now I'm going through my blog and publishing the stuff that I always meant to publish, but never got around to!) But I still love having a lot of nice clothes to choose from. You can do both, if you're willing to put in a little bit of effort. :)