Jesus Was Bisexual (According To The Bi-ble)

"Jesus was bi, this I know
For the Bi-ble tells me so
'Tempted in every way, without sin,'
But straight guys don't like other men!"


I wrote an additional lyric to the famous "Jesus Loves Me" song. I was inspired to write that verse after remembering that the New Testament says that Jesus was "tempted in every way, like as we are, but without sin."   (And this is to say nothing of the young man wearing only a shirt, who appeared when Jesus was being arrested--or of the "disciple whom Jesus loved"!)
Normally, I really hate when people take one single verse out of context, but I have researched it, and I see absolutely nothing, in the context of the text, to contradict what was just said. Jesus was tempted in every way, like as we are. And the writer does not indicate that he is only addressing straight people. 
If one believes in sexual sin (which I don't, as long as it's between fully consenting adults and harms no one), then one cannot escape the conclusion that Jesus tempted in that way, too. And therefore, if gay sex is a sin (not my beliefs, but the belief of some people), then Jesus was tempted to do it. And the very definition of being straight, is that one is only attracted to the opposite sex. 

I have shared this with probably dozens of people over the past few months, since making this discovery, and so many people simply don't understand (or don't want to understand) what I'm talking about. 
They think I am saying that he had actual gay sex. They don't know the difference between sexual orientation, and sexual behavior, which are not necessarily the same thing. They think that one has to fuck their way into the gay club, to put it bluntly. 
One person even flat-out denied that Jesus was tempted in every way. He explained that Jesus was only tempted in the way that was strongest for him. In other words, he read the meaning, "tempted in ONE way," into the phrase, "tempted in EVERY way"!  
Now, the bible could very well be translated wrong (and it is, when it comes to the "gay-bashing" verses), but as far as I know, there is nothing to indicate that the phrase "every way" means anything but "every way." (If someone has found evidence for that, I would love to see it, please. Thank you.)

 I believe anti-gay Christians' reluctance to accept their gay Savior comes from two sources: 

1) They are simply uncomfortable with the idea of any Christian, much less Christ, being gay. 

2) They themselves have been tempted by the same sex, at one time or another, and they still want to think of themselves as 100% straight.  

The awful people refuse to accept the idea that one can be gay and a virgin, just as one can be straight and a virgin. Which forces me to conclude that they are not actually against certain sex acts, but against the people who are tempted to have such sex acts. (Or, that they would prefer LGBT people to lie, and say that they are straight, or lie by omission and let people assume that they are straight.)
And when I think about the fact that Jesus befriended prostitutes, tax collectors, and other sinners (and no doubt some of them were LGBTQ), Christians' discomfort with LGBTQ people makes them look nothing like the person they claim they want to emulate the most.
And it makes me wonder...what if Jesus himself told them that? What if they found out that, indeed, their Savior is not straight (or asexual) as they picture him? Would they then accept LGBT people--or would they turn their backs on them--and therefore, on him? 
I'm not sure I truly want to know the answer to that question. Luckily, more and more Christians and other religious people are accepting LGBT people. And some of most loving and joyful people I know are gay Christians--though normally, I have found such joy to be very rare among those who are the most devout and church-going. But the gay and affirming Christians I have seen most definitely have what is called the Fruit of the Spirit--love, joy, peace, self-control, and all of the rest, which the homophobes are very much lacking in. 
That is why I am convinced that being against LGBT people/love/relationships/etc, makes one very unhappy, whether they "want" to be against it, or not. I know I was very unhappy when I thought I "had" to be anti-gay. And I thank God, if there is a God, that I now know that I don't "have" to believe that way.
I know that I tried so very hard to be a good Christian, at one time. And I know that I was sincere. I didn't just "forget" to pray the sinner's prayer and mean it. So if there is a Savior, then I have a Savior. And if I have a Savior, then that Savior was (and maybe still is) bisexual--like me! :)