And it reminded of my old youth pastor, who stabbed an orange with a screwdriver to show how emotionally devastating premarital sex was. He didn't gently use it.
Each time the theoretical person had sex, he covered the orange with another layer of aluminum foil, and stabbed it again. Eventually, the person got married, and their spouse had to peel away the layers of hurt to get to the person underneath. He never proved that people were actually like a screwdriver-stabbed orange covered with tinfoil, though.
A couple of boys in the youth group begged to be the ones to eat the orange, but he didn't let them. He had a sack full of other oranges to share.
"Technically, sex is when the boy's penis goes into the girl's vagina, but we're also talking about other sexual things, here," he said, making everyone in the mixed group uncomfortable.
He also liked arranged marriages, "courting," and said that Christians shouldn't date unless they want to be married right away. He said that one would get hurt, if they dated a non-believer. I pointed out that one could very well get hurt, dating a believer, because you just didn't know about people. He seemed forced to admit that, "Yes, you might get burned dating a believer, but you WILL get burned dating an unbeliever!" My mom later said that trying to avoid being hurt at all costs was no way to date, or to live.
This guy was actually the more fun, less serious youth pastor, too. His partner made fewer jokes and laughed less--though he wasn't angry, just serious.
In one "photo scavenger hunt" we did, one of the items the stabber put on the list was "Get your group 'goose-stepping' through the grocery store parking lot!" I was later glad I was on the other pastor's team, because, while the other guy misunderstood and had us waddle around like ducks, the orange-stabber actually meant that we should walk around like marching Nazis. In a public place. And then take a picture of that! While we were driving around in a van with a church emblem on it!
There was also a black girl in the youth group, and I think she was not on my team. She spoke fluent German, and I'm not sure if that makes it better, worse, or the same.
I only went to that youth group, in my teens, because I was homeschooled and wanted to socialize. I didn't go to the actual church, and my parents didn't, either. I was feeling very burnt out on church and Christianity. But I knew my bible backwards and forwards, I had some views that were a little more liberal and tolerant than the mainstream evangelical church, and I thought that the youth group was like a discussion group. Which caused a few problems because Mr. Nazi McOrangeStabber thought that it was a place where he taught the kids what to believe. Eventually, I could tell that he didn't like me.
I think part of it was that I was a girl, and was so outspoken, too. If it had been a boy, I think he would have reacted just a little bit differently. But he didn't like any kid (respectfully) questioning him, nonetheless.
I am so very glad to be rid of that group, that church, and those people. Evangelicalism is a joke. All of the plain, "normal," mainstream evangelical churches and schools I've gone to have been much worse than they seemed at first.
And most of all, they've been much worse than they thought they were. I'm glad Mr. Nazi McOrangeStabber is out of my life. If you're going to be in my life, and have those kinds of views, you had better share some of my DNA. And even then, we're not going to be close, and I will only see you when I have to. That's just the rules, because I have to protect myself, for I've been hurt many times by conservative evangelicalism. They've stabbed my orange so much that I'm still peeling back layers of foil. But I'm doing it on my own, no spouse needed. No church needed, either. And I like being without a church, or at least without their church.
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