"Gay" Is Not A Choice--And Neither Is "Christian"

 One of my Facebook friends posted recently about feeling very old, and a friend of his left this very interesting comment:

 I have 2 young men in their 20's and a gay son in his 50's. He introduced me to the boys and of course I am old enough to be their great grandfather both of these really intelligent young men find me fascinating both in and out of bed. I have not slept with my son bye the bye.

 I looked on this man's profile, and coincidentally, he lives only about an hour north of me (there's a small chance I might know either or both of his two lovers, and not be aware of it). He is sixty-nine and also a big marijuana enthusiast. He's an old-school, bearded, free-love hippie.
I had somewhat of a difficult time deciphering the story from that comment, but I believe that he and his son shared two younger lovers. And apparently, his son is okay with that. I thought that the funniest part was the last sentence, when he felt he had to say that he's never slept with his son. 

That was just a funny tidbit that I wanted to share. This same guy later shared a meme about gay Christianity, saying it was "proof beyond a shadow of a doubt" that "gay Christians suck." (Well, yeah, they do, but only the men!) The meme was a photo of two men hugging and laughing, over which were the words, "I am a proud, gay, Christian man. Yes, you read that right. Gay AND Christian. God loves me. Get over yourself."
I'm not sure how that proves, exactly, that anyone sucks. Except perhaps for the people who can't get over themselves.
But this reminded me of one of the Gay Christian Network's frequently asked questions, "Why identify as Christian when so many Christians are anti-gay?" 
And yet I've been asked by homophobic Christians (when arguing "as" a gay Christian--I have kind of a Christian "side," so I don't feel like I'm lying) why I call myself gay (I'm actually bisexual, but it's just easier than explaining that I see myself more with another woman). "Why not just call yourself a Christian?" one of them asked. 
These two questions both reveal a lot of ignorance and insensitivity. "Why call yourself gay?" and "Why call yourself a Christian?" can both be answered in the exact same way: Because it's something that you believe is accurate to describe yourself (why lie?), something that you feel you can't change, and something that you just identify with, for whatever reason.
If people have a personal problem with Christianity, or their own Christian past, I totally understand that (believe me--this blog's title was, and its address still is, "Atheist Journeys"--I've been there!). But religion is a lot like sexual orientation: It's something that you don't (can't) really "choose," and it's a part of people's identity. (But we still are obligated to do everything in our power to ensure that the religious do not harm or bother others--and we don't allow harmful people to decide how much they're harming others, either. One can only know how much they ARE harmed; not how much they harm others--no matter what they think God tells them!)

It took me so many years to escape the fear of hell, even when I considered myself an atheist, and after I had figured out years before that I couldn't be a devout Christian. Sometimes I still feel bothered by it, even though I was much more bothered as a born-again evangelical. 
Did I choose to believe in hell, or in God? No. And I can't make myself say, "I know God is real, I know Jesus was God," etc, even now, because I don't know for sure. I couldn't make myself not believe, and I can't myself believe, either. 
You believe what you believe, just like you love whom you love. (Again, your beliefs, and love for that matter, do NOT justify any kind of harm or discrimination whatsoever--and you don't have a right to own a business!)
Just because one gay person can leave religion behind, doesn't mean that they all can--or want to. And I don't believe Christians/theists--gay, straight, or anti-gay (which is just gay, in my opinion!)--should ever look down on non-believers, either. As long as one is not discriminating against or harming others (including their potentially gay kids, family, and friends), I don't think it matters what one believes, as far as God goes. 
LGBT people especially should be understanding and considerate of each other, whether they believe or not. We have too many people trying to tear us down. Let's not tear down each other, please. Thank you. :)