Here are a few of the many ways in which those opposed to homosexuality ensure that others will never listen to them:
1) Drive-By Comments
There
was a "drive by" once in the comment section of an article on
Freedhearts (a pro-gay Christian blog). The commenter expressed the notion that the bible forbade
same-sex relationships (which it doesn't, apparently--here are the Resources on that
same site, for clarity), then said that he "wasn't here to argue"--on a
site where that notion is VERY debatable, to say the least!
I
and many others went round and round with him. I told him that it
wasn't fair that he got to express his opinion, while others didn't get
to express theirs, hence the "not arguing." That he just wanted us to
sit there and take what he was saying as the truth, without listening to
our side of things, and that that wasn't right or fair.
He
conceded that point, to his credit. I really do believe that he had good
intentions, but intentions aren't magical, and he was being
unintentionally condescending. He also lost a lot of my respect when he hid
behind the "don't look at me, God said it," excuse. I will tackle this
excuse later, but basically, he's not going to morally disagree with God (which he very well could do), so he
totally IS saying it as well. He also would probably not change his mind
even if God told him otherwise.
It's not "clear" that God is
against equality or human rights. No one is denying or ignoring what they already know,
and no one needs any "Truth" told to them, without the speaker at least
listening to their side of things, as well.
2) Double Standards
He also said that it wasn't right to call anti-gay people homophobic, but that it was okay for him to say "abomination," because the bible said it too (he said these two things in the same comment).
If one is not going to agree to a common language, then there is no discussion to be had. About a year ago, I was surprised to find that a prominent Youtuber, who happens to be a Christian, did not like the term "Religion," so I determined not to use words which the other side might find objectionable (on purpose), even if I did believe they were technically accurate.
(By the way, shrimp is also referred as an abomination, along with wearing mixed fibers--I'm sure you've heard that cliche before. Let's at least stick to the New Testament, shall we?)
3) Intentionally Being Offensive
If you compare LGBTQ people to pedophiles or those who practice bestiality, we get offended. The reason we get offended is that you are calling us rapists. How would you feel, if you were called a rapist?
Pedophilia and bestiality are literally forms of rape, since children and animals cannot properly give consent. If you wish to be taken seriously by us, understand that we don't want to be compared to rapists, and don't compare us to rapists.
The reason that we are okay with homosexuality, but not rape (in its many forms), is consent. Consent is our sexual ethic. A consenting adult is not a rape victim. Remember this when engaging with us, and remember that we DO have a sexual ethic, just like you.
(Yes, I do have to say it, because some people don't get it--or just want to be offensive.)
4) Not Listening To Us
Finally, and this is the main offense (from which the other three derive), which is not wanting to listen to us. If you do not wish to listen to us, you cannot expect us to listen to you.
This comes most often, that I have seen, in the form of insisting that our sexual orientation is a "choice." Would you choose this, in the homophobic environment that you might have grown up in, and in a world where your basic rights are controversial, at best, and outright denied, at worst?
To insist that this is a choice is to ignore the thousands, if not millions, of stories, on the internet alone, from those for whom this is not a choice. And these are just the people who chose to share their stories. For
every one story you read about, there are literally hundreds of others
that are just like it or similar.
No one, absolutely, NO ONE, would
choose this. We are kicked out of our homes, beaten, raped, fired from our jobs, sometimes even murdered. No, we didn't choose this. You wouldn't choose this, so why do you think we are choosing it?
We do not choose our sexuality, or who we are. The reason we often choose to act on our sexuality, by finding a partner or spouse, is that we want love, just like you. Maybe you chose to find love, and we do the same. To condemn us for what you have done is not only unequal, but serves to alienate us and does not make us want to listen to you.
Listen to our stories, listen to us, and this will go a long way, even if we do not see eye to eye. (And by the way, thank you for reading this and thereby listening.)
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