Who Really Has No Hope?

 Please also see a previous post, "The Funeral."

I once saw an acquaintance of mine that I hadn't seen in a long time.
"How have you been?" I asked. "What's going on with you?"
"I had to go to a funeral this weekend," he said.
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."
"No, I'm a Christian! A funeral is a celebration!" he said.
"Oh...okay," I said, a bit taken aback at his intensity. I wasn't quite comfortable saying, "Congratulations."

In spite of scripture to the contrary, I think it is much harder for Christians (and other religious people) to lose a loved one than for non-believers. I have never met a Christian who has not agonized over the fate of a friend or family member's soul, even if this person had been a believer. Even those who don't believe in hell usually did so at one time.
The one (theoretical) comfort I can take in times like this is that the person or animal in question is out of pain or cannot be hurt any more. The last thing someone who is grieving should have to face is the question of whether their loved ones are forever tortured (by the god they themselves serve, no less) or whether a loving god created beloved pets without souls.

My grandfather lost a nephew a few years ago, one who had lived hard and probably never set foot in a church (at least not for services). Predictably he expressed concern over his nephew's soul, when my grandmother shared something that had happened to her: "I was praying this morning, and I said, 'Lord, I wonder where he is,' and I heard his mother laugh. I don't think she would be laughing if he weren't with her."
With her--while she was laughing. What a wonderful image; and I had always heard that my grandfather had considered his sister's smoking a sin.
In spite of this apparent development, most of my family still believes in a literal hell. Some of them seem to think also that my parents and I are going there, because we lost our salvation through not going to church. Other than going to church and effectively living a lie, I don't know how to make things easier for them. I don't think they can "choose" to change their beliefs any more than I can change mine by choice alone.
I'm not too fond of a religion that causes people anguish and makes their lives harder (which, I believe, is most religions). I know from experience the terrible things that belief in hell does to people, and since I can't change my family's minds, I am at least grateful to be out of that dark, fearful place in my life.
Which begs the obvious question: Who really has no hope?

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