Advice To My Atheist Self

 See also the previous post, Advice To My Christian Self.

Our journeys in life take us to unexpected places. There was a time that I thought I would never end up an atheist, though there was always a part of me that rebelled against the religious indoctrination I had been subjected to. I learned so much along the way, and I know I have so much left to learn. But when I learned these things, my life became so much freer:

1. Always be on your own side. There is nothing inherently bad about you. You deserve every good thing that you can get for yourself.  It's all right that you're not perfect, that you can only do so much. Be easy on yourself, as you would a best friend.

2. Listen to and trust yourself. There is a reason you are thinking that blasphemous thought. Whatever you do, don't silence yourself. You will literally drive yourself crazy trying to control your thoughts.

3. Don't feel bad about anything. What you are feeling probably is not healthy. Guilt should be temporary, until you make things right, and should only surface if you have truly hurt somebody. Other people do not have a right to get hurt over your own thoughts and actions that do not affect them.

4. Don't feel like you have to share everything. Most of my family does not know I'm an atheist; my family is such that it would not be wise to share that information at this time. Every family, workplace, and even church, is different, and your situation may not be conducive to an open and accepting dialogue. Again, you don't have to feel bad about this.

5. Don't be afraid of words. "Atheist" can be a scary word. A superstitious part of you may think you are severing all ties with God and sending yourself to hell. But remember you can always change your mind, if later you are scared. Also remember that you don't have to tell anyone; "atheist" to me is still often said like a secret mantra in my mind. Whatever you believe, or don't believe, can be as private as you wish.

Above all, don't replace one religion with another; in other words, don't think that you have to agree with everything a fellow atheist says, or allow yourself to be insecure wondering if you're a "real" atheist. Let your life lead you where it will, and enjoy the journey along the way.

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