I recently came across a Side B/Side X (gay Christians have to be completely chaste/gay Christians have to become straight--I'm not really sure what his beliefs are, he was all over the place in his conversation) idiot, who commented on a progressive Christian blog, and an argument ensued.
He said that gay Christians can only be celibate and single (but that they can't call themselves gay, for some reason--I have no idea what his reasoning was; I don't think he's using his head). So I asked him, if it was so easy, to swear on a bible that he would never have sex with his wife again. He tried to ignore that question, but I brought it up again and again, every time I responded to him.
"You won't do it, will you? You want a warm place to put it!" I accused him.
He said I was immature. But I persisted, saying that his penis was betraying him, and asking him if he thought urologists were immature for using that word. I asked him to give up sex, forever, probably two dozen times.
He said it was not all about sex. So I said, if it was not all about sex, then he should have no problem giving up sex. He said it wasn't all about me, so I asked him why he was arguing about my life. He said everyone had burdens, so I asked him if he thought LGBT people never have any pain in their lives (and told him that, in addition to life's pain, we get hurt from people like him every day). He told me to quit whining, so I said that I wasn't whining, I was calling out hypocrisy, and that he couldn't put a burden on me, then tell me to shut up when it was too heavy.
If he had said that she wanted sex, then I would have told him that he could always finger her, but not have an orgasm himself.
"Why would I give it up, when sex with my wife is not a sin?" he asked.
"Because that's what you're trying to get me to do," I answered. "If giving up sex, or the hope of sex, forever, is so easy, then you do it! Take your own medicine! Either put up or shut up! Giving up sex forever should be a small price to pay for saving a few souls. Show us how it's done!"
He tried to insist that God was saying that I should be alone, not him, but I countered that if God wanted to tell me something, He knew I was listening, and that so far (after about twenty years with God) God had not said anything. This guy insisted that God had said something, but that I was waiting for what I wanted to hear.
"Nope. God knows I'm sincere, even if you don't," I repeated. "I don't need your permission to be a Christian, or to have a relationship with God."
Then I asked him, again, to give up sex forever.
"You're losing. I'm out of here," he said.
"Losing? I exposed your hypocrisy for what it really is--you want sex!" I said, laughing to myself. Another "loving" homophobic guy who had gotten mixed up in the argument dropped out quietly, too; he obviously didn't want what I was serving to the Disqus commentor known only as Frank. (If you see "Frank" on Disqus making his usual Side B/X arguments, feel free to ask him about his sex life, and tell him AJ sent you!)
I learned something, from all this: Homophobes really want sex! And they will leave, if you insist enough times, that they give it up forever, as they are asking you to do. And they care more about their penises or their clitorises than they do about anyone else's soul.
They will try to ignore your challenge, but don't let them! Insist that they take their own medicine; go on the offensive! Every time you make a counterargument, add this tactic, and combine it with a prediction that they won't take it because they want to get off. Get a little insulting, at least as far as liking sex can be an insult. They know the burden they're trying to lay on you is very heavy, so they won't lift it themselves--and Jesus himself condemned this practice, twice.
If they try to say that they're not sinning, then say that giving up sex should be a small price to pay for saving souls. If it's so easy, let them do it!
If they try to blame God, tell them that God didn't tell you that, and that God knows you're listening, even if they don't. Repeat yourself a lot, if you must: "God knows I'm listening, even if you don't!" This phrase can be combined both with arguments against what the bible apparently says about gay people, and with arguments that the bible doesn't actually say that gays are bad. I went with the latter, because I think the bible we have now is nothing like the original manuscripts, but gay atheists can use the "God would know I'm listening" phrase too.
The point is, though, to repeat the challenge as often as necessary, until they finally leave. I'm not sure if it will ultimately convince them, but it will get them to go away, and hopefully reflect on just what they're asking of LGBT people.
And remember this: You DO NOT need someone else's permission to be a Christian, a Jew, a theist, an atheist, or anything else. Your journey is your own, and no one has the right to stand between you and God, or between you and your own life, or however you think of it. Remind them, if you like, that you don't need their permission. Repeat over and over, as many times as necessary, "God knows I'm listening, even if you don't," and, "Swear on a bible that you will never have sex again!"
There may be some Side B gay Christians, who really are celibate for life, but they are rare, and you can always say, again, that God has apparently not called you to that life, if they bother you. But celibacy is, most often, a celibacy-pusher's repellent; go out there and use it! :)
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