Dialogue In A Diner

 Question: How many philosophical and moral questions can you pack into about five minutes total of dialogue?

Answer: More than you think. 

This is based on an actual conversation I overheard the other day:

"How do you like my new Jesus t-shirt? I don't wear anything else...I just felt like the Lord wanted me to give that money away, so I gave $160 to the Sunday School class. I feel so good about that!" (I knew which church it was, and the Sunday School class had about ten kids in it.) "Excuse me, Waiter, this has onions in it. I can't stand them!" (The waiter apologized profusely and took it back.) "I can't believe the service we got when we went to pizza last Friday. We were waiting over an hour! People who came after us got seated before us. I said something, and the hostess said they were busy. I said, 'Look, people who got here after us are already seated.' That's when they finally found a seat for us. I didn't want to leave a tip, but my husband felt bad about not leaving a tip. We didn't leave as much as usual, though."
Here someone else chimed in, very sternly. "I would have said, 'My time is just as valuable as yours. I'm leaving.'"
Another person, grinning: "There's this diner that we like to go to all the time, and we give the waitress a hard time. One time she said, 'I think I deserve a $20 tip today.' And I said, 'Yes, you do deserve $20.' So when the bill came I ripped a twenty in half and left half there for her. Every time we came in after that, she'd wave that half-a-twenty in front of her, and I'd say, 'Maybe today. We'll see.' But after a while I finally gave her the other half."
And another person, after a little while: "Mrs. Smith's son and daughter-in-law are both doctors, and for her birthday they gave her a brand-new van that must have cost thirty or forty thousand dollars!"
"Oh, forty thousand dollars doesn't even touch that van!"
"Well, they gave her the keys in a jewelry box, and she said she thought it was a diamond necklace to match the diamond earrings they gave her last year."
Twenty-ripper to waiter: "Thanks for the plates and forks. Do you want some of our pie? Go get yourself a piece of pie."
He did.

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