When I was a teenager, I felt a lot of pressure to "share my faith" with everyone I met (though I wonder now if this faith was really mine). Because it made me feel very uncomfortable, I wish most of all that someone had convinced me that I didn't have to do it, or at least asked me to keep these suggestions in mind:
1. Remember the purpose of conversation. When people are having a conversation with you, they are trying to find common ground. They are trying to find things that both of you have in common or agree on. Even friendly debates are possible because the parties have at least agreed to be nice to each other.
If you insist on talking about your religion, and they do not share it or wish to talk about it, this can reinforce the idea of distance between you and the other person, especially if you have just met or are strangers.
People cannot be shamed or judged into becoming better people or accepting your beliefs or viewpoints. If the purpose of talking about your religion is to reassure yourself that you are a good Christian, Muslim, etc, or that you're better than these backsliders or heathens, then don't be surprised if people start avoiding you.
2. Don't go into it with any assumptions or agendas. People can sense when you have an agenda. That is why, if the subject of religion is suddenly brought up, and does not naturally come up on its own (no matter how subtly you think you're steering the conversation), people are going to get uncomfortable.
Most of all, be respectful of others' life experiences. When I meet someone who is religious, and does not seem insecure about their beliefs, I conclude that they must have had different experiences in life than me, experiences which have convinced them of God's existence or of someone guiding their life. I have had different experiences, and so have come to different conclusions.
3. Acknowledge their goodness. Saying something like, "It sounds like you really care a lot about animals," or, "You seem like a very compassionate person," goes a long way to getting the other person to try to see things your way. They know now that you're on their side, that you see them as a person, and not another lost soul to save or enemy to defeat in debate.
After acknowledging their goodness, however, that is not the time to say something like, "You know who else had compassion on us?" Which brings me to my next point...
4. Don't act as if they've never heard of your religion. For westerners at least, acting as if they've never heard the gospel, quoting scripture at them (which they've probably heard before), or thinking that they just need to hear it your way, or one more time, is very condescending.
It's better to say something like, "You've obviously heard of Jesus--heard the 'gospel message.' What is it about Christianity that turns you off?" Then please remember...
5. Don't feel as if you have to have all of the answers to their questions or objections. Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know, or that you struggle with that same issue. Above all, don't gloss over the big, unanswered questions by affirming that you're just going to trust God, or that we'll know the answers some day. For people who have trouble trusting God, or who cannot believe because of their questions, this is very frustrating.
When it comes to talking about religion, it is very easy to do it wrong, but it's also very easy to get it right. The important thing to remember is to be nice, respectful, and open to listen to the other person's story. This goes for unbelievers as well.
What do you think of this? Leave a comment below, or send me an email at: atheistjourneysblog@gmail.com
Follow or tweet me here: https://twitter.com/atheistjourneys
No comments:
Post a Comment