These were PACE's.
Accelerated Christian Education materials, PACE's, have cartoon strips throughout the book, as characters like Pudge McMercy and Ace Virtueson (actual names of characters, I'm not exaggerating) demonstrate perfect Christian values. There are also the unsaved characters, Ronny Vain and Susie Selfwill. Susie and especially, Ronny, are just awful human beings. Eventually, Ronny and Susie get in a motorcycle accident. Susie dies and Ronny breaks his arm. Yes, this curriculum does teach that unbelievers go to hell. Though they didn't say or show it explicitly, Susie went to hell, according to their beliefs.
I always hated those little cartoons, but also laughed at them. They parodied themselves. Anyway, recently I came across this article by Jonny Scaramanga, an atheist who often blogs about his experiences in a British ACE school (he also has a Youtube channel with three videos about the same subject). He talked about a hilarious cartoon in which Ace asks Ronny, "Ronny, may I introduce you to my best friend, Jesus?"
"Nope!" Ronny says.
In other words, Ace is shot down and looks like a total tool in his own fucking comic strip, in his own fucking book!
Apparently this cartoon went viral on Twitter, with the hashtag #RonnyForPresident.
I figured this was a perfect time to premier my take on my favorite character, the little shit Ronny. My story stars Ronny Vain and Pudge McMercy, who was always drawn a little heavier than the other kids (that's not the worst stereotype, though: the kid drawn to look dumber than the others, whom I always took to be mentally retarded, is named Happy; he's one of the fucking Seven Dwarves!).
I had always wondered why Pudge was drawn as overweight, and whether cortisol (the stress hormone, believed to contribute to weight gain) or stress-eating had anything to do with it. I also recall that one of the most stressful times in my life was when I was desperately trying to live up to the "good Christian" ideal. I wanted to explore the possibility that Pudge felt that way too.
I also wanted to piss off the very conservative ACE people as much as possible, so eventually him and Ronny are going to suck each other's cocks.
Don't be fooled by the title ("Totally Hetero Pudge And Ronny"): They're not going to stay that way. I was being a little sarcastic...
This is the first fan fiction of the ACE characters that I could find on the internet, and it's a yaoi gay shipping. The only thing I could find similar to any kind of fan fiction is this hilarious video:
I also plan to have cameos of characters from other popular Christian literature and art, including Chick tracts and the Left Behind series (I'm open to any other suggestions, as well).
Since there are potentially different audiences for this fiction and the stuff I write here (not all atheists have heard of ACE comics, and not all people who think these comics or curriculum are bad are atheists), I put these chapters on my not-explicitly-atheist Deviantart page (feezlfuzzl). I have four chapters published so far, with plans to do many more:
Totally Hetero Pudge And Ronny: Chapter One
THPAR: Chapter Two
THPAR: Chapter Three
THPAR: Chapter Four
When I have another chapter, I will put a link to it on the "ACE Gay Porn" page linked at the top of the site.
What do you think of this? Leave a comment below, or send me an email at: atheistjourneysblog@gmail.com
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