This is the second chapter of my Accelerated Christian Education fan fiction, the first of its kind, that I know of, and I am very proud of it. To see more chapters of it (thirteen so far!), here is my Deviant Art page.
To see the first chapter, go to my Deviant Art Page, or go here.
Ronny breathed a sigh of relief, slumping against the seat as Pudge's
car disappeared out of sight up ahead of him. He had not exactly been
thrilled to see the kid he had called, with good reason, "Preacher
Pudge" behind his back. He had only been surprised that Ace The Asshole
and Racer The Brown-noser were not with him. Just like old times, he
had covered his dismay at being constantly evangelized with a cocky
grin.
The entire time he had helped him, Ronny had been holding
his breath, waiting for Pudge to say something about Jesus, who was
always the big fat elephant in the room. It was always
Jesus/sin/God/bible, in a never-ending loop. The Christian kids had
known how much of an ass Ronny was to them, and so did Ronny. But what
they didn't realize was how much he had been holding back.
Ronny
had not lived in the nice perfect suburbs, he had not had nice things
or new, clean clothes. His parents couldn't afford (or perhaps didn't
want to bother, he didn't know for sure) to send him to private school,
which was religious but better than the underfunded public schools. He
would see the other kids in their crisp red-and-blue uniforms, which
were rather ugly and out of style (especially the girls' dresses), but
they were clean and new, no stains, no rips, no scuffs on their shoes,
and the kids all had clean hair. And he couldn't help but notice that he
was very different than them. He stood out, at an age when he wanted
nothing more than to fit in.
There were other differences too.
His parents had not shown him much affection, not nearly as much as he
saw other children getting from theirs. His mother liked to yell,
sometimes over things he had not even realized he was doing. He was
always tense, never knowing if a certain action (or lack of action)
would get him in trouble. His dad had slept in his chair a lot. Later
Ronny would understand why, when he discovered that other kids' houses
were not filled with smelly bottles like his was.
He had not even had a bike, for many years.
Once,
when he was very young, he had tried to ride Ace's bike when Ace wasn't
even using it, but even from the swings, Ace had seen it and thrown a
fit. Even Ace's father had put a stop to it, and Ronny was accused of
being a thief, and told it was typical of him because he didn't love
Jesus. He had learned something that day, about what he was, what these
perfect Christian people saw him as: He was a bad kid.
He wasn't
meant to have nice things. He wasn't meant to have a perfect family or
attention and praise from adults. They didn't want him to have any of
these things. He didn't have them, because he was bad. Somehow, some
way, he had done something so horrible that he didn't deserve any of
this. Why else would the other children have everything, and not him?
And if God was so good, according to them, why did he make Ronny different from them? Why had he made Ronny bad?
When
he got old enough, he recognized the hypocrisy for what it was. These
clean, smiling kids with perfect lives and perfect families, they were
the same ones telling him that if he gave his heart to God, everything
would be all right.
What did they know about his situation? What did they know about how to make everything all right?
They
knew nothing. One thing he didn't tell them, one thing he had never
told anyone, was that he had given his heart to God once. He had prayed,
in his innocence, that God would make him good so that Mommy would stop
yelling at him and getting mad, and Daddy would stop falling asleep and
pay attention to him, like he had seen other parents behave with their
children.
Though he tried to be good and obedient, his mother
always found other faults that he hadn't known about. When he had
tentatively approached his father with a football, he had been roared at
for blocking the TV. Then when Daddy started yelling, Mommy also
started yelling, and he had gotten spanked, his mother cruelly yanking
him up off the ground and slapping his backside three or four times.
God hadn't changed Mommy or Daddy. Ronny must still have been bad. Discouraged, he had stopped praying after a week or two.
He
hadn't told anyone of this, knowing his failure as a Christian. He had
never been a "real" Christian, like they said. He couldn't have been,
though he had tried.
When he grew a little older, they said he
had rejected God. No, God had apparently rejected him--if there even was
a god. He sometimes had his doubts.
They said Jesus would solve
all of his problems. But how the hell would they know? They had never
had any problems. Not the kind Ronny had. The biggest problem they ever
had was trying to love someone like Ronny. He knew because they told
him, or mentioned it when he was around. And he was supposed to be
grateful for whatever love they did show to him.
They didn't even
see how condescending they were acting towards him. He was a stupid
child, a villain, and a fool to them. He wasn't just another kid--like
he wanted to be.
So of course he had "rejected" their God. If God
was like them, why should he even care to have a relationship with him?
Was God as condescending as his followers? Was this the same God who had
given him the shaft in life, and now wanted him to be grateful that he
wouldn't fuck Ronny over even harder, for all eternity? Was that the
kind of "relationship" God had wanted with him?
So of course he
had scoffed at their "good news." Of course he had done whatever he
could to hurt them as much as they had hurt him. It maybe wasn't
acceptable, he realized that now, but at the time it seemed like all he
had, his only option. And of course, when Ace asked if he could
"introduce" Ronny to his "best friend," Jesus, Ronny had shot him down.
"Nope!" he had smirked, quite proud of himself. Ace had been a tool, and he was now put in his place.
And
so, it was all he could do not to make a face at Pudge's Christian
"designer" knockoff t-shirt ("Abreadcrumb & Fish," arguably the
worst choice for an overweight person). And it had been all he could do
to keep a cool, cocky demeanor, like old times. He would change the tire
because it was the right thing to do (he had at least matured somewhat,
he thought), but seeing Pudge again had almost made him nauseous.
It
was really too bad, because he suspected that, when he wasn't feeling
pressured to spout Jesus nonsense at him (in spite of all of Ronny's
protests, which apparently brooked no compassion even for painful
memories), Pudge was probably a halfway decent guy.
But as it was, Ronny had noticed that Pudge didn't even look at him even as he had helped him. It was just like old times.
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